Gigantic Computer Mouse, retail ~$15.00
Manufactured by (Unknown)
Last updated 08-16-10

This isn't a laser, flashlight, or other product specifically designed to produce light, but since it uses two LEDs and one of them is rather critical to its functionality, I figured "what the H-E-Double-Bendy-Straws" - I'd probably get eternal darnation if I failed to add it to this website because of those LEDs in it anyway.

This is a gigantic three-button computer mouse that uses an optical tracking mechanism rather than a ball. The third (center) button also incorporates a scroll wheel, eliminating the need to mouse over and "click & drag" on the scroll bar at the far right of the document or web page you're on in order to get that page to scroll. This mouse is significantly larger than most other computer mouses.

 Size of product w/hand to show scale SIZE

This mouse is actually quite easy to use.

Plug the cord coming from the mouse into any free USB port on your desktop or laptop computer. The computer should almost immediately "sense" its presence and automatically install the correct driver.

At this point, the mouse should now be working.

This mouse is compatible with the following operating systems (according to the web page for this mouse on the A4Tech website as of 05-23-10 {or "23 May 2010" if you prefer}):

Windows 98, Windows ME, Windows 2000, Windows XP, Windows Vista X86 & X64, Mac OS 9.X~10.X.

This mouse obtains the power it requires from the USB port and does not use batteries, so I do not have to tell you which part to remove, huck down the basement stairs into the room crawling with thousands of hungry piss ants with full bladders, and then rather emphatically tell you not to.

Unable to measure current usage due to how the product was constructed.

The Gigantic Computer Mouse is designed to be a computer peripheral, not a flashlight meant to be carried around, thrashed, and abused; so I won't try to drown it in the toliet tank, bash it against a steel rod or against the concrete floor of a front porch, let my mother's big dog's ghost or my sister's kitty cats spring a leak (uranate) on it, run over it with a 450lb Celebrity motorised wheelchair, stomp on it, use a medium or large ball peen hammer in order to bash it open to check it for candiosity, fire it from the cannoņata, drop it down the top of Mt. Erupto (I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piņata" too much again - candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piņata Central {aka. "Party Central"}), with a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or with a pack-of-cards-sized device that Fergy Fudgehog uses; the cannoņata (also located at Piņata Central) is only used to shoot piņatas to piņata parties away from picturesque Piņata Island, and Mt. Erupto is an active volcano on Piņata Island), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analysis, or perform other indecencies on it that a flashlight might have to have performed on it. So this section of the web page will be ***SIGNIFICANTLY*** more bare than this section of the web page on a page about a flashlight.

In fact, that photograph and spectrographic analyses below may very well be it.

Photograph of the tracking LED's "beam" on light tan carpeting from several inches.

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the orangish-red "tracking" LED in this mouse.

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the blue scroll wheel LED in this mouse.

USB2000 spectrometer graciously donated by P.L.

Unit was purchased from a now-unknown vendor (possibly on the PulseTV website) in (I believe) mid- or late-2009.

UPDATE: 00-00-00



    PRODUCT TYPE: Oversized USB optical computer mouse
    LAMP TYPE: Blue LED (scroll wheel), slightly orangish-red LED (tracking)
    No. OF LAMPS: 2
    SWITCH TYPE: Momentary pushbutton switches
    CASE MATERIAL: Plastic
    BEZEL: N/A
    CURRENT CONSUMPTION: Unknown/unable to measure
    WATER- AND URANATION-RESISTANT: Light splatter-resistant at maximum
    ACCESSORIES: None that I'm aware of
    SIZE: 6.350" L x 3.600" W x 1.760" D
    WARRANTY: Unknown


    Product was not intended to be a light-emitter, so the conventional "star" rating will not be used.

Gigantic Computer Mouse *

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