Flashing Light Baton, retail $3.59 (www.rightaid.com*)
Manufactured by (Unknown) for Excite
Last updated 02-28-13
This is an (to me anyway) unusual light-up baton.
I'm not exactly certain what it's for, but it has these nifty flashing red & blue LEDs directed toward the rubbery blue ball on the end and directed downward into the handle -- so it made it onto my website.
* Product was not found on the Right Aid website, so this URL simply leads to their front door.
SIZE
To use your spiffy new (or dirty old) Flashing Light Baton, just hold it by its handle, and firmly (not ***HARD***) strike the rubbery ball against any reasonably sturdy surface, such as the front of your leg, a wall, a doorframe, a chair, the edge of a toliet bowl, a sink, the ground, etc. until the Flashing Light Baton begins flashing its red & blue LEDs.
The baton stays on for 15 seconds (timed on a clock with a second hand on it) and then it neutralises itself.
This product is disposable, so I do not have to tell you which part to remove, kick down the basement stairs with all of those hungry, hungry termites that have to go #1 rather urgently, and then rather emphatically tell you not to!
This is a flashing LED baton, not a flashlight meant to be thrashed, trashed, and abused. So I won't try to drown it in the toliet tank, bash it against a steel rod or against the concrete floor of a carport in effort to try and expose the bare Metalmarineangemon - er - the bare Metalflamedramon - um that's not it either...the bare Metaldarktyrannomon...er...uh...wait a sec here...THE BARE METAL (guess I've been watching too much Digimon again! - now I'm just making {vulgar term for feces} up!!!)
{O WAIT!!! WHERE'S THE METAL?!?}, let my mother's big dog's ghost, her kitties, my kitty or my sister's kitty cat piddle (uranate) on it, hose it down with my mother's gun, run over it with a 450lb Quickie Pulse 6 motorised wheelchair, stomp on it, use a medium ball peen hammer in order to bash it open to check it for candiosity, fire it from the cannoñata, drop it down the top of Mt. Erupto (now I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piñata" too much again - candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piñata Central {aka. "Party Central"}), with a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or with a pack-of-cards-sized device that Fergy Fudgehog uses; the cannoñata (also located at Piñata Central) is only used to shoot piñatas to piñata parties away from picturesque Piñata Island, and Mt. Erupto is an active volcano on Piñata Island), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analyses, or perform other indecencies on it that a flashlight might have to have performed on it. Therefore, this section of the Flashing Light Baton's web page will seem a bit more bare than this section of the web page on a page about a flashlight.
Photograph of the product, illuminated of course.
Spectrographic analysis of the red LEDs in this baton.
Spectrographic analysis of the red LEDs in this baton; spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 620nm and 640nm to pinpoint peak emission wavelength, which is 633.211nm.
Spectrographic analysis of the blue LEDs in this baton.
Spectrographic analysis of the blue LEDs in this baton; spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 440nm and 460nm to pinpoint peak emission wavelength, which is 450.448nm.
Video that shows the Flashing Light Baton in action.
This video is approximately 49.1754123461 megabytes (49,753,150 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than one hundred seventy four minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.
TEST NOTES:
Product was purchased at a Right-Aid store in Federal Way WA. USA on 02-15-13.
UPDATE: 00-00-00
PROS:
Nice to look at (especially when activated) but...
NEUTRAL:
...but looks a bit like a medieval mace {weapon}
This is a mace.
CONS:
Being disposable means that four nice LEDs go down the {vulgar slang term for caca}bowl when the batteries conk out
I have absolutely no idea what this is used for -- no instructional materials were furnished
MANUFACTURER: Unknown for Excite
PRODUCT TYPE: Flashing LED baton
LAMP TYPE: T1 (3mm) LED
No. OF LAMPS: 4 (2 ea. red & blue)
BEAM TYPE: N/A
SWITCH TYPE: Impact-type on; self-terminating
CASE MATERIAL: Plastic
BEZEL: N/A
BATTERY: Unknown-type button cells
CURRENT CONSUMPTION: Unknown/unable to measure
WATER- AND URANATION-RESISTANT: Light splatter-resistance at max
SUBMERSIBLE: ¡¡¡MOTOSIERRA ENEMA USANDO UN CEPILLO DE DIENTES QUE CAYERON EN EL RECIPIENTE HIGIÉNICO, NO!!!
ACCESSORIES: Batteries (preinstalled)
SIZE: ~232.0mm L x 62.0mm Dia. (ball) 22.0mm Dia. (handle)
WEIGHT: 46.70g (1.630 oz.) incl. batteries
COUNTRY OF MANUFACTURE: China
WARRANTY: Unknown/not stated (presumably guaranteed against DOA)
PRODUCT RATING:
Flashing Light Baton *
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SIZE
) Flashing Light Baton, just hold it by its handle, and firmly (not ***HARD***) strike the rubbery ball against any reasonably sturdy surface, such as the front of your leg, a wall, a doorframe, a chair, the edge of a toliet bowl, a sink, the ground, etc. until the Flashing Light Baton begins flashing its red & blue LEDs.
- now I'm just making {vulgar term for feces} up!!!)
