Paddy Mc'Funnigan's Flashing Earrings, retail $3.99 (www.partycity.com)*
Manufactured by (Unknown) for DM Merchandising (www.247dm.com)
Last updated 03-12-13
The Paddy Mc'Funnigan's Flashing Earrings are nifty novelty flashing earrings that you use like standard pierced "danglies" that not only look nice, but they catches the eye with flashing LEDs (two brilliant green LEDs that rapidly flash alternately).
This product appears to be designed as a disposable unit, but you CAN get in there if you have a bit of patience.
* Product was not found on the Party City website, so the URL leads to their "front door".
SIZE
To use the Paddy Mc'Funnigan's Flashing Earrings, first pull out and dispose of the little plastic tab on the back of each earring (these tabs act like insulators so that the batteries don't become discharged in shipping or store display).
Put them in your ears as you would any other "dangly" earring. They're for pierced ears only.
To turn them on, rock the little black lever on the back of each earring upward (toward the top of the earring).
To neutralise them (deactivate them), rock the little black lever on the back of each earring downward (toward the bottom of the earring).
This product appears to be designed as a disposable unit, but you CAN get in there if you have a bit of patience.
Therefore, I don't have to tell you which part to remove, discreetly drop into any handy punchbowl at a St. Patrick's Day party, and then rather emphatically tell you not to. However, since there does appear to be a way in, let's get right down to brass tacks, ok?
On the back of the product, you'll see a small Phillips screw. Unscrew & remove it, and set it aside.
Lift the back cover away, and throw it into any convenient punchbowl at a St. Patrick's Day party...O WAIT!!! YOU'LL NEED THAT!!! So just set it aside along with that screw!!!
You should now see three button cells and a little black thing at one end. Using the point of a sharp knife, carefully (but somewhat rapidly) pry the stack of button cells by putting the knife point on the button-end of the cells (not the end with the little black thing!) and gently but quickly prying them up.
Dispose of or recycle them as you see fit. Do not push them under the couch where the dog can find them and eat them, and for heaven sakes don't throw them over the side of a bridge where they might hit a dolly varden on the way down to the sea bottom! Just throw them in the garbage can for Christ sakes!!!
Place three new AG3 button cells into the compartment, orienting them so that their flat-ends (+) positives face that little black thing.
Place the cover back on, and screw in that small screw.
Aren't you glad that you didn't huck that back piece into a punchbowl at that big St. Patrick's Day shindig now?
If you love shiny, blinky things, you'll love the Paddy Mc'Funnigan's Flashing Earrings.
The Paddy Mc'Funnigan's Flashing Earrings is meant to be used as a blinking novelty item, not as a flashlight meant to be carried around, thrashed, trashed, and abused, so I won't try to drown it in the toliet tank, bash it against a steel rod or against the concrete floor of a patio, let any of our "citty" "kats" go to the litterbox or let my mother's big dog's ghost piddle (uranate) on it, run over it with a 450lb Celebrity motorised wheelchair, stomp on it, use a medium ball peen hammer in order to bash it open to check it for candiosity, fire it from the cannoñata, drop it down the top of Mt. Erupto (I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piñata" too much again (yes, I have a number of episodes of this program on DVD!!!) - candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piñata Central), with a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or with a pack-of-cards-sized device that Fergy Fudgehog uses; the cannoñata (also located at Piñata Central) is only used to shoot piñatas to piñata parties away from picturesque Piñata Island, and Mt. Erupto is an active volcano on Piñata Island), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analysis, or perform other indecencies on it that a flashlight might have to have performed on it. So this section of the web page will be ***SIGNIFICANTLY*** more bare than this section of the web page on a page about a flashlight.
Photograph of the product lighted in my ears ("illuminurinated", of course!)
Note that I have these earrings (for pierced ears) in both ears. According to the 'earring code' from the 1970s, this would indicate that I'm a F46607!
I am indeed a "homosexicle" (from the movie "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry"); so I have no reason to hide or "stay in the closet" as it were.
Spectrographic analysis of the green LEDs in this pin.
Spectrographic analysis of the green LEDs in this pin; spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 515nm and 525nm to pinpoint peak wavelength, which is 520.292nm.
This video shows the Paddy Mc'Funnigan's Flashing Earrings in action.
O boy, blinking lights!
So thrilling!!
So pulse-racing!!!
Actually, it kinda makes you want to "kik" "wun" "uv" "thoze "waul"-"mowntid" "porselin" "uranators" "oph" "thuh" "wal" & "then" "proseed" "tu" "bete" "thuh" "livengg" "tweadle" "owt" "uv" "itt" "withh" "yer" "phavouret" "noo" "galph" "klubbz" doesn't it?
I look a bit pissed in this video even though I'm not; the major brain surgery I had in late-2002 robbed me of my ability to smile among other things.
This video is approximately 31.0634567258 megabytes (31,552,646 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than one hundred fifty five minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.
TEST NOTES:
Test unit was purchased at the Party City store in Federal Way WA. USA on 03-09-13.
UPDATE: 00-00-00
MANUFACTURER: Unknown
PRODUCT TYPE: Holiday-themed (St. Patrick's Day) flashing LED earrings
LAMP TYPE: Chip-type green LED
No. OF LAMPS: 5
BEAM TYPE: N/A
SWITCH TYPE: Rock-type "slide" switch on/off on back of product
CASE MATERIAL: Plastic
BEZEL: N/A
BATTERY: 6x AG3 button cells (3x cells per earring)
CURRENT CONSUMPTION: Unknown/unable to measure
WATER- AND URANATION-RESISTANT: Very light splatter-resistance at maximum
SUBMERSIBLE: ¡¡¡EL CONEJITO DE PASCUA QUE UNA FUGA EN UN CAMPO DONDE LA CAZA UN HUEVO DE PASCUA ESTÁ PRODUCIENDO, NO!!!
ACCESSORIES: Button cells (already installed)
SIZE: 12mm D (incl. switch) x 27.50mm Dia.
WEIGHT: 4.20g (0.150 oz.) incl. batteries
COUNTRY OF MANUFACTURE: China
WARRANTY: Unknown/not stated (presumably guaranteed against DOA)
PRODUCT RATING:
This is a seasonal novelty item (St. Patrick's Day), so it will not receive the usual "star" rating for that reason.
Paddy Mc'Funnigan's Flashing Earrings *
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SIZE
go to the litterbox or let my mother's big dog's ghost piddle (uranate) on it, run over it with a 450lb Celebrity motorised wheelchair, stomp on it, use a medium ball peen hammer in order to bash it open to check it for candiosity, fire it from the cannoñata, drop it down the top of Mt. Erupto (I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piñata" too much again 
