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SHOW ME YOUR BEADS
FLASHING NECKLACE

Show Me Your Beads Flashing Necklace, retail $3.50
Manufactured by (Unknown) for D.M. Merchandising (www.247dm.com
Last updated 01-26-13

This is a rather interesting piece of jewelery; although it resembles an ordinary inexpensive Mardi Gras beaded necklace, this necklace has eight brilliant green LEDs (enclosed in translucent green "beads) strung around the necklace itself.

It operates from two CR1220 lithium coin cells held discreetly in the rear assembly.

SIZE

Put this necklace on as you would put many other large necklaces on - that is, just loop it over your head and orient it so that the black battery box is at the back of your neck.

To turn it on in alternating flash mode, press & release the button on the black battery case once.

To switch to unison (at the same time) flashing, just press & release the same button again.

To turn all of the LEDs on in "steady" mode, press & release the button a third time.

To neutralise the LEDs (turn the necklace off), press & release the button a fourth time.

Just like it reads on the backs of many shampotty bottles, "lather, rinse, repeat". In other words, pressing & releasing the button again starts the cycle anew with alternating flash mode.

To change the batteries, use a very small Phillips screwdriver (the #0 in my set of jeweller's screwdrivers did the trick here) to unscrew & remove the rather small screw that holds the battery door on. Set it in a shallow dish or something so that it cannot accidentally fall or be blown onto the rug where it could later fall prey to the hungry, hungry vacuum cleaner.

Remove the battery door (use the screwdriver you just had if necessary), buy yourself an airline ticket and fly yourself plus the battery door to Hollywood (put it in checked baggage if necessary), bring it to the set of the new movie, "Halloween V: Season of the Bitch", have the special effects crew grind it into microscopic bits to have those itty bitty bits implanted into millions of Kotex and Tampax tampons, and...O WAIT!!! YOU'LL NEED THAT!!! So save your airfare & just set it aside instead.

You'll see a metal thing inside the battery compartment. Carefully lift it away (it's attached to a wire, so don't reef on it too hard or else it could become broken and your necklace will no longer function!!!)

Remove and dispose of or recycle the two CR1220 lithium coin cells, and dispose of or recycle them as you see fit. Do not use your foot to push them under the Lazy-Boy where the cat might find them, do not attempt to flush them down the loo, and for God sakes please do not throw them over the side of a dock where they might hit a flounder on the way down to the sea bottom.

Insert two new CR1220 lithium coin cells into the chamber, orienting them so that their flat (+) positive ends face up.

Place that metal thing back over the topmost cell, and place the battery door back on. While holding the battery door down, insert & gently tighten that tiny screw that you were supposed to put in the shallow dish earlier.

Done with that, fun yeah!!!
Aren't you glad that you didn't fly that battery door to Hollywood where it would get ground into microscopic bits for the sake of some phoney-bologna fake Halloween movie now?

The Show Me Your Beads Flashing Necklace is designed to be used as a piece of jewelry, not as a flashlight meant to be carried around, thrashed, trashed, and abused, so I won't try to drown it in the toliet tank, bash it against a steel rod or against the concrete floor of a garage, let my housemate's citty kats

go to the litterbox on it, run over it with a 450lb Celebrity motorised wheelchair, stomp on it, use a large claw hammer in order to bash it open to check it for candiosity, fire it from the cannoñata, drop it down the top of Mt. Erupto (I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piñata" too much again

- candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piñata Central), with a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or with a pack-of-cards-sized device that Fergy Fudgehog uses; the cannoñata (also located at Piñata Central) is only used to shoot piñatas to piñata parties away from picturesque Piñata Island, and Mt. Erupto is an active volcano on Piñata Island), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analysis, or perform other indecencies on it that flashlights might have to have performed on them. So this section of the web page about this necklace will be ***SIGNIFICANTLY*** more bare than this section of the web page on a page about a flashlight that was born to be a flashlight and nothing but a flashlight.

The LEDs in this necklace are bright enough to be used as an emergency flashlight for short-range tasks like searching for that pesky deodouriser cap that rolled behind the water closet or for finding a keyhole, but it was not specifically meant to be used as a flashlight.

Photograph showing the necklace illuninated -- on the floor this time.

Photograph showing the necklace in use.
I look kinda pissed even though I'm not; brain surgery that I had in late-2002 robbed me of my ability to smile.

Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this necklace.

Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this necklace; spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 510nm and 530nm to pinpoint peak wavelength, which is 520.267nm.

USB2000 Spectrometer graciously donated by P.L.

This video shows the Show Me Your Beads Flashing Necklace in action.

That music you hear is zax from the Sega coin-op arcade video game, "Afterburner II" from 1987.
This product is not sound-sensitive; the zax may be ignored or even muted if it pisses you off.

O boy, blinking lights!
So thrilling!!
So heart-racing!!!
Actually, it kinda makes you want to kick one of those wall-mounted porcelain uranators off the wall and then proceed to "bete" "thuh" "livengg" "tweadle" "owt" "uv" "itt" "withh" "uh" "uzzed" "tuthe" "brusch" doesn't it?

This video is approximately 17.6777345234 megabytes (17,902,649 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than eighty eight minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.

TEST NOTES:
Test unit was purchased at the Party City store in Federal Way WA. USA on 01-18-13.

UPDATE: 00-00-00

PROS:
Very festive for St. Patrick's Day parties
Brighter-than-expected green LEDs
Not disposable; it can be used year after year
Large size so it simply loops around your neck with no fiddly closures

NEUTRAL:

CONS:
Batteries it uses may be difficult to find and/or locally expen$ive

Unknown

LED-lighted necklace

Unknown-type (poss. 3mm) green LED

N/A

Pushbutton on/mode change/off on battery case

Plastic

N/A

2x CR1220 lithium coin cells

Unknown/unable to measure

Light splatter- and perspiration-resistant at maximum

¡¡¡SATANÁS LLEVA UN PAÑAL APESTA, NO!!!

4x CR1220 lithium coin cells (this incl. 2 spares)

47.40g (1.670 oz.) incl. batteries

China

Unknown; presumably guaranteed against DOA

This is a seasonal novelty item (St. Patrick's Day), so it will not receive the usual "star" rating for that reason.

Show Me Your Beads Flashing Necklace *

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