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MICROTOUCH
SWITCHBLADE GROOMER

MicroTouch Switchblade Groomer, retail $19.99 (www.amazon.com...
Manufactured by (Unkown)
Last updated 01-10-14

This product is not designed to emit light of its own (it has an LED "headlight" but it isn't designed to be used as a flashlight), so the standard review format will not be used and the product will not be assigned a rating. This website is mostly about light-emitting products, but occasionally, you'll see non-light emitting products on it too if it's something I really like and/or use on a regular basis. It does have a white LED in it, so it's at least a bit germane to the theme of this website.

This is the Switchblade.
It is a multipurpose grooming instrument for men that's been tailored to perform two specific tasks.

1: It has a wider shaving head that allows for trimming/shaving of larger areas of hair, such as along the sides of the face, arms, legs, back of the neck, chest hair, and even armpits (primarily performed by championship swimmers).

2: It has a very small cutting head for neatly grooming beards & moustaches, sideburns, eyebrows, eliminating unsightly nose & ear hair, and performing other grooming tasks that cannot be done with a full-sized groomer.

Size of product w/hand to show scale

SIZE

To use the Switchblade, feed it with a pair of AAA cells first, and THEN you can make that pesky beard hair fall into the toliet.

Turn the unit on by pressing the button on the upper surface of the product's body (located near the narrow end of the groomer). Remove the transparent protective cover from the blades at the narrow end.

Snip off that pesky nose or ear hair; or groom your moustache and/or beard.

When finished, turn the unit off by pressing & releasing the same button.

To shave or groom larger areas of hair, slide the orange slider forward (toward the narrow end of the product); doing so will automatically start the cutter's large-area blades.

Shave yourself.

Shave some more.

To turn it off now, just slide the orange slider backward (away from the narrow end). This turns the Switchblade off and covers the large-area blades at the same time.

To change the batteries in the Switchblade, look for a ridged battery hatch on the larger end of the product. Slide it off in the direction of the arrow, throw it in the loo, and yank that silvery handle on the front of the cistern (toliet tank) down...O WAIT!!! YOU'LL NEED THAT!!! So just set it aside instead.

If necessary, tip the used AAA cells out of the Switchbade, and dispose of or recycle them as you see fit. Do not just throw them into the forest, do not attempt to dispose of them by flushing, and for God sakes please do not huck them into a trout-filled stream!!!

Slide two new AAA cells into the chamber, facing them so that their nipple-ends (+) positives face outward. This is the opposite of how the batteries are installed in most flashlights, so please pay attention to polarity here.

Slide the battery hatch back in place, and be done with it.
Aren't you glad that you didn't flush away that battery hatch now?

This is a grooming aid, not a flashlight designed to be thrashed, trashed, and abused. So I won't throw it against the wall, stomp on it, try to drown it in the toylet bowl or the cistern, run over it, swing it against the concrete floor of a porch, use a small sledgehammer in order to bash it open to check it for candiosity

, fire it from the cannoñata

, drop it down the top of Mt. Erupto

(I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piñata" too much again

- candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piñata Central), with a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or with a pack-of-cards-sized device that Fergy Fudgehog uses; the cannoñata (also located at Piñata Central) is only used to shoot piñatas to piñata parties away from picturesque Piñata Island, and Mt. Erupto is an active volcano on Piñata Island {In the episode "Les Saves the Day...Again", Paulie Preztail says "Hey, ever wonder why this park's called 'Mount Erupto' anyway?", then Franklin Fizzlybear says "I think its an old native term. Means 'very safe.'"}, send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analyses, or inflict upon it punishments that a flashlight might have to have performed on it. So this section of the web page will be ***SIGNIFICANTLY*** more bare than this section of the web page on a page about a flashlight.

Photo showing the LED "headlight".

Spectrographic analysis of the LED in this groomer.

Spectrographic analysis of the LED in this groomer; spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 445nm and 455nm to pinpoint native emission peak wavelength, which is 451.530nm.

The raw spectrometer data (tab-delimited that can be loaded into Excel) is at http://ledmuseum.candlepower.us/44/s-blade.txt

USB2000 Spectrometer graciously donated by P.L.

Video on YourTube showing the MicroTouch Switchblade Groomer cutting off a goatee and trimming nose hairs. My left eye is what's known as a "googly eye" because I had a very serious (Crash Course In) brain surgery {obscure Metallica reference here} in late-2002, and now have a palsy of several facial muscles. This is also why I look a bit pissed in this video even though I'm not -- the brain operation robbed me of my ability to smile.

This clip is approximately 271.858212382719 megabytes (272,037,110 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than one thousand three hundred fifty nine(!!!) minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.
This video is definitely ***NOT*** dial-up friendly!!!

TEST NOTES:
Unit was purchased on Amazon.com on and was received on 01-07-14.

UPDATE: 00-00-00

Unknown

Battery-operated multipurpose groomer

3mm white LED

Medium spot w/soft corona

Pushbutton on/off near front of product

Plastic

N/A

2x AAA cells

Unknown/unable to measure

¡¡¡PAPÁ NOEL TOMANDO UNA FUGA POR LA CHIMENEA, NO!!!

Cleaning brush, four trimmer comb depth guides

164mm L x 24mm W x 40mm H

87.70g (3.090 oz.)

China

Unknown/TBA

This is not a light-emitting product, so the
standard "star" rating will not be used.

MicroTouch Switchblade Groomer * www.amazon.com...

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