SOLAR DANCING TURKEY

Solar Dancing Turkey, retail $TBA
Manufactured by (unknown) for ()
Last updated 02-08-14




This product was not designed to emit any light, so the traditional review format will not be used and the product will not be assigned a rating. This page will consist mainly of two photos and two videos.

The Solar Dancing Turkey is a plastic turkey that has wings & neck that move when it is exposed to bright light.
A solar cell powers a motor inside that does all the work.


Size of product w/hand to show scale SIZE



To use your Solar Dancing Turkey, just remove it from its clamshell package, and place it on a brightly-lit windowsill.



This product does not use batteries, so I don't have to tell you which part to remove, shove up a turkey's asshole along with the stuffing, throw into the oven preheated to 375°F (190.5°C), and then rather emphatically tell you not to.




Video showing the Solar Dancing Turkey doing what it was designed to do.
In leiu of sunlight, I irradiated its solar panel with my 2 Watt S3 Spyder Arctic G2 445nm Blue Laser w/SmartSwitch™ set at minimum power.

O BOY!
A sodding phoney-bologna fake plastic stupid dead bird flapping it wings and moving its neck!
So thrilling!!
So heartstopping!!!
Actually, it kinda makes you want to "kik" "thuh" "spiget" "oph" "thuh" "wal" "uv" "uh" "bathetube" "ahnd" "woch" "thuh" "wattor" "schute" "acros" "thuh" "rume" doesn't it?

This video is 96.5332417318 megabytes (96,873,432 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than four hundred eighty two minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.
This video is definitely ***NOT*** dial-up friendly!!!




Video showing the Solar Dancing Turkey doing what it was designed to do.
In leiu of sunlight, I irradiated its solar panel with my Directly-Injected 5mW 515nm Green Laser Pen.

O BOY!
A sodding phoney-bologna fake plastic stupid dead bird flapping it wings and moving its neck!
So exciting!!
So pulse-pounding!!!
Actually, it kinda makes you want to kick over one of those Penal-Ware® ligature-resistant prison combys and then "pruhseed" "tu" "bete" "thuh" "livengg" "tweadle" "owt" "uv" "itt" "withh" "uhn "olde" "orr" "uzed" "toylet" "brusch" doesn't it?

That sound you might hear is the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, "The Next Phase" playing on the boob-tube.
This product is not sound-sensitive; the audio (sound) may safely be ignored or even muted if it pisses you off.

This video is 581.9953788279 megabytes (582,750,834 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than two thousand nine hundred ten minutes (!!!) to load at 48.0Kbps.
This video is definitely ***NOT*** dial-up friendly!!!




Video showing the Solar Dancing Turkey doing what it was designed to do, in low-hanging sunlight (early-February 2014) this time.
The wind inhibited its motion, necessitating me to shield it from the wind with my hand much of the time.

O BOY!
A sodding phoney-bologna fake plastic stupid dead bird doing what it was designed to do! So thrilling!!
So pulse-racing!!!
Actually, it kinda makes you want to "kik" "wun" "uv" "thoze "waul"-"mowntid" "porselin" "uranators" "oph" "thuh" "wal" & "then" "proseed" "tu" "bete" "thuh" "livengg" "tweadle" "owt" "uv" "itt" "withh" "yer" "phavouret" "noo" "galph" "klubbz" doesn't it?

This video is 610.7388327120 megabytes (611,454,378 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than three thousand fifty minutes (!!!) to load at 48.0Kbps.
This video is definitely ***NOT*** dial-up friendly!!!




Video showing the Solar Dancing Turkey doing what it was designed to do, in its natural habitat (in a windowsill).

O BOY!
A sodding phoney-bologna fake plastic stupid dead bird doing what it was designed to do!
So thrilling!!
So heart-stopping!!!
Actually, it kinda makes you want to "kik" "thuh" "spiget" "oph" "thuh" "wal" "uv" "uh" "bathetube" "ahnd" "woch" "thuh" "wattor" "schute" "acros" "thuh" "rume" doesn't it?

This video is 317.2572155582 megabytes (317,727,382 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than one thousand five hundred eighty six minutes (!!!) to load at 48.0Kbps.
This video is definitely ***NOT*** dial-up friendly!!!





TEST NOTES:
Product was given to me by my sister as a gift on 11-14-13.
Because it was a gift, the " " icon will appear next to its listings on this website to denote that no abusive testing will take place.


UPDATE: 00-00-00






Solar Dancing Turkey *






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