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Somebody set up us the bomb.

Adjustable 1x AAA Green Beam Portable Laser, retail $9.06
Manufactured by: (Unknown)
Last updated 04-16-14

(In reference to the padded envelope I received from an Ebay seller at 2:22pm PDT on 04-14-14):
{sung like the Foreigner song "Feels Like the First Time"}

The Adjustable 1x AAA Green Beam Portable Laser is a green-emitting, DPSS laser. It uses a a single AAA cell -- not two AAA cells like most other "pen-style" laser pointers and laser modules do.

It comes in a handsome brass body with a black finish and chrome colored bezel, tailcap, and spring-loaded "lobster claw" keychain attachment.

It also comes with a holographic "stars" projection head that screws directly onto the end of the laser's "business-end"


To get the laser to turn on, first be certain that there is an AAA cell installed. If there isn't, then install it (see directly below), and THEN you can go irradiate something.

Aim the laser well-away from your face first. Press & hold down the button on the barrel for as long as you want or need the laser spot, and release pressure on the button to neutralise the laser.

To use the holographic "starfield" projector head, just screw it into the laser's "business-end", activate the laser, and spin the projection head. "Stars" will be projected from the laser's aperture and will change configuration whenever the projetion head is spun. You need not spin it hard; just give it a gentle twist to watch the "stars" change.

To change the battery in this green laser, unscrew the tailcap, gently place it onto the floor in front of the stairs leading to the basement, and kick it down those stairs so that the piss ants with full bladders will think it's something to eat, find it unpalatable, drag it to the queen, who just sniffs at it, uranates all over it, and instructs the worker ants to do the same...O WAIT!!! THAT'S THE GOOD PART!!! So just set it aside instead.

Tip the used AAA cell out of the barrel and into your hand, and dispose of, recycle, or recharge it as you see fit.

Insert a new AAA cell into the barrel, nipple-end (+) positive first. This is the opposite of how batteries are installed in most other laser pens, so please pay attention to polarity here.

Screw the tailcap back on, and be done with it.
Aren't you glad that you didn't kick that tailcap into the basement with all of those hungry ants that really had to piddle now?

Measures 389mA on my DMM's 400mA scale.

This is a self-contained laser , and not a flashlight meant to be carried around, thrashed, trashed, and abused - so I won't try to drown it in the toliet tank, bash it against a steel rod or against a concrete porch, let my mother's big dog's ghost or my sister's kitty cats piddle (uranate) on it, run over it with a 450lb Celebrity motorised wheelchair, stomp on it, use a small or medium ball peen hammer in order to bash it open to check it for candiosity, fire it from the cannoñata, drop it down the top of Mt. Erupto (I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piñata" too much again - candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piñata Central {aka. "Party Central"}), with a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or with a pack-of-cards-sized device that Fergy Fudgehog uses; the cannoñata (also located at Piñata Central) is only used to shoot piñatas to piñata parties away from picturesque Piñata Island, and Mt. Erupto is an active volcano on Piñata Island), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analysis, or perform other indecencies on it that a flashlight might have to have performed on it. So this section of the web page will be ***SIGNIFICANTLY*** more bare than this section of the web page on a page about a flashlight.

Power output peaks at 42mW on a LaserBee 2.5W USB Laser Power Meter w/Thermopile.

Beam photograph on the test target at 12".

Beam photograph on a wall at ~8'.

Projector photograph on the ceiling.

Projector photograph on the ceiling.

Projector photograph on the ceiling.

Projector photograph on the ceiling.

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the DPSS laser in this product.

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the DPSS laser in this product; but spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 527nm and 537nm to pinpoint wavelength, which is 532.010nm.

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the DPSS laser in this product; but spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 800nm and 830nm to check for the effectiveness of (or the presence of) an NIR filter.
This filter functions relatively effectively; I had to "overload" the spectrometer by a significant degree to obtain this plot.

The raw spectrometer data (tab-delimited that can be loaded into Excel) is at

USB2000 Spectrometer graciously donated by P.L.

A beam cross-sectional analysis would normally appear here, but the ProMetric System
that I use for that test was destroyed by lightning in mid-July 2013.

Video on YourTube showing this laser directed at the ceiling (with diffraction optic in place); optic was slowly rotated.

O BOY! Green spots that move & change!
So thrilling!!
So heart-racing!!!
Actually, it kinda makes you want to kick one of those wall-mounted porcelain uranators off the wall and then proceed to "bete" "thuh" "livengg" "tweadle" "owt" "uv" "itt" "withh" "uh" "uzzed" "tuthe" "brusch" doesn't it?

This video is approximately 161.116734583478 megabytes (161,510,444 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware. It will take no less than eight hundred five (!) minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.
This video is definitely ***NOT*** dial-up friendly!!!

Test unit was purchased on Ebay on 03-29-14, and was received on the afternoon of 04-14-14.

UPDATE: 00-00-00

Uses inexpensive and readily available batteries
Form factor (size in specific) is much smaller than other green DPSS lasers
The price is right!
Properly labelled for power output

Keychain is not on a swivel

No CDRH-mandated laser warning label -- this is what nocked ½ star off its rating
No safety features required of a CDRH Class IIIb laser; this is what lopped off the other ½ star

    PRODUCT TYPE: Green-emitting laser
    LAMP TYPE: DPSS laser assembly
    No. OF LAMPS: 1
    BEAM TYPE: Very narrow spot / adjustable starfield
    SWITCH TYPE: Momentary on/off button on barrel
    BEZEL: Metal; laser & lens recessed into its end
    BATTERY: 1x AAA cell
    WATER- AND COFFEE-RESISTANT: Light splatter-resistant at maximum
    ACCESSORIES: Short chain with spring-loaded "lobster claw" clip, holographic "starfield" projection head, 1x AAA cell, hard-sided storage case w/magnetic latch
    SIZE: 88mm L x 12mm Dia.
    WEIGHT: 38.20g (1.350 oz.) with battery
    WARRANTY: Unknown/not stated


    Star Rating

Adjustable 1x AAA Green Beam Portable Laser *

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