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MICROTOUCH
MAX PERSONAL GROOMER

MicroTouch Max Personal Groomer, retail $6.00 (www.amazon.com...
Manufactured by (Unkown)
Last updated 01-10-14

This product is not designed to emit light of its own (it has an LED "headlight" but it isn't designed to be used as a flashlight), so the standard review format will not be used and the product will not be assigned a rating. This website is mostly about light-emitting products, but occasionally, you'll see non-light emitting products on it too if it's something I really like and/or use on a regular basis. It does have a white LED in it, so it's at least a bit germane to the theme of this website.

This is the MicroTouch Max Personal Groomer.
It is a personal grooming instrument for men that's been tailored to perform fine grooming tasks.

It has a very small cutting head for neatly grooming beards & moustaches, sideburns, eyebrows, eliminating unsightly nose & ear hair, and performing other grooming tasks that cannot be done with a full-sized groomer.

Size of product w/hand to show scale

SIZE

To use the MicroTouch Max Personal Groomer, feed it with a single AAA cell first, and THEN you can make that pesky ear hair fall into the toliet.

Turn the unit on by rotating that chrome-colored ring near the center of the unit (see photo directly below). Remove the transparent protective cover from the blades at the narrow end.

Snip off that pesky nose or ear hair; or groom your moustache and/or sideburns.

When finished, turn the unit off by rotating that ring the other way and slip the protective plastic cover over the unit's business-end.

To change the battery in the MicroTouch Max Personal Groomer, pull off the lower half of the product, throw it in the loo, and yank that silvery handle on the front of the cistern (toliet tank) down...O WAIT!!! YOU'LL NEED THAT!!! So just set it aside instead.

If necessary,remove the used AAA cell out of the battery chamber, and dispose of or recycle it as you see fit. Do not just throw it into the forest, do not attempt to dispose of it by flushing, and for God sakes please do not huck it into a trout-filled stream!!!

Place a new AAA cell into the chamber, orienting it so that its nipple-end (+) positive faces the tail end of the product. This is the opposite of how the batteries are installed in most flashlights, so please pay attention to polarity here.

Slide the lower half of the unit back in place, and be done with it.
Aren't you glad that you didn't flush away that lower part of the groomer now?

This is a grooming aid, not a flashlight designed to be thrashed, trashed, and abused. So I won't throw it against the wall, stomp on it, try to drown it in the toylet bowl or the cistern, run over it, swing it against the concrete floor of a porch, use a small sledgehammer in order to bash it open to check it for candiosity

, fire it from the cannoñata

, drop it down the top of Mt. Erupto

(I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piñata" too much again

- candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piñata Central), with a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or with a pack-of-cards-sized device that Fergy Fudgehog uses; the cannoñata (also located at Piñata Central) is only used to shoot piñatas to piñata parties away from picturesque Piñata Island, and Mt. Erupto is an active volcano on Piñata Island {In the episode "Les Saves the Day...Again", Paulie Preztail says "Hey, ever wonder why this park's called 'Mount Erupto' anyway?", then Franklin Fizzlybear says "I think its an old native term. Means 'very safe.'"}, send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analyses, or inflict upon it punishments that a flashlight might have to have performed on it. So this section of the web page will be ***SIGNIFICANTLY*** more bare than this section of the web page on a page about a flashlight.

Photo showing the LED "headlight".

Spectrographic analysis of the LED in this groomer.

Spectrographic analysis of the LED in this groomer; spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 450nm and 460nm to pinpoint native emission peak wavelength, which is 452.590nm.

The raw spectrometer data (tab-delimited that can be loaded into Excel) is at http://ledmuseum.candlepower.us/45/mictouch.txt

USB2000 Spectrometer graciously donated by P.L.

Brief video on YourTube showing nothing more than the MicroTouch Max Personal Groomer neutralising some nose hairs.

My left eye is what's known as a "googly eye" because I had a very serious (Crash Course In) brain surgery {obscure Metallica reference here} in late-2002, and now have a palsy of several facial muscles (palsy of the third facial nerve with total pupillary involvement); I also look a bit pissed in this video even though I'm not -- the brain operation robbed me of my ability to smile.

O BOY!!! A GROOMER DOING WHAT IT WAS DESIGNED TO DO!
So thrilling!!
So pulse-racing!!!
Actually, it kinda makes you want to "kik" "wun" "uv" "thoze "waul"-"mowntid" "porselin" "uranators" "oph" "thuh" "wal" & "then" "proseed" "tu" "bete" "thuh" "livengg" "tweadle" "owt" "uv" "itt" "withh" "yer" "phavouret" "noo" "galph" "klubbz" doesn't it?

This video is approximately 116.266345762834 megabytes (116,833,148 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than one thousand three hundred fifty nine(!!!) minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.
This video is definitely ***NOT*** dial-up friendly!!!

TEST NOTES:
Unit was given to me by my sister on 04-02-14; the "

" icon will be appended to its listings on this website as a result, denoting the fact that no abusive or even potentially destructive testing will take place.

UPDATE: 00-00-00

Unknown

Battery-operated personal groomer

3mm white LED

Medium spot w/soft corona

Twist ring on/off near center of product's body

Plastic

N/A

1x AAA cell

Unknown/unable to measure

¡¡¡PAPÁ NOEL TOMANDO UNA FUGA POR LA CHIMENEA, NO!!!

Two trimmer comb depth guides

164mm L x 24mm W x 40mm H

87.70g (3.090 oz.)

China

Unknown/TBA

This is not a light-emitting product, so the
standard "star" rating will not be used.

MicroTouch Max Personal Groomer * www.amazon.com...

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