Beam N ReadŽ Pilot, retail (No longer sold)
Manufactured by ASF Lightware Solutions (
Last updated 07-23-14

The Beam N ReadŽ Pilot is a reading light that features six bright red LEDs in a rectangular illuminator head.

However, it doesn't clip to a book. And you don't wear it on your head. Rather, it dangles from your neck via an elastic (stretchy) strap -- and it directs a soft flood of light on the book or other close-range task where it belongs, rather than in your bed partner's eyes when they say something and you turn to look at them!

It's also handy for skulking around the house at 3:30am without stepping on little squeaky rat tails {or loud cat tails!}, changing a baby's poopy diapers at night without having to flip on the overhead lights and risk waking other children in the room {
but if you're awakened by a squalling baby at 2am because his or her nappy is wet, chances are that the racket has also awakened other kids in the same room anyway, hahaha!!!}, shovelling up dog {vulgar slang term for multiple fudge bunnies} after taking Fido or Fi-Fi out for a midnight crap, etc.


The Beam N ReadŽ Pilot is almost ready to use right out of the package; you only need install a quartet of AA cells (not included; see directly below) and then you can go & find what made that squeaky noise behind the toliet or curl up with your favourite book on that new E-Reader that you just got for your birthday.

Using the elastic cord, sling the Beam N ReadŽ around your neck, as the photograph directly below shows:

Picture of the Beam N ReadŽ Pilot slung arond my neck like it was intended to be used.

Turn your Beam N ReadŽ on by simply swivelling the illuminator head.

To neutralise it (turn it off), just swivel the illuminator head back to its original flat position.

To use the pink filter, simply snap it in place over the illuminator head.

The Beam N ReadŽ can also be placed upon a flat surface such as the floor in order to help you locate dropped objects under a couch or chair; the low-angle causes the lost item to cast a noticeable shadow that may allow you to spot it more readily.
A prime example of this might be when you drop a tiny screw or a sewing needle on the floor and it rolls under the couch.

To change the batteries in your Beam N ReadŽ, turn the unit so it is face-down, slide the battery door off in the direction of the arrow embossed on it, buy yourself an airline ticket and fly yourself plus the battery door to Hollywood (put it in checked baggage if necessary), bring it to the set of the new movie, "Halloween V: Season of the Bitch", have the special effects crew grind it into microscopic bits to have those itty bitty bits implanted into millions of Kotex and Tampax tampons, and...
O WAIT!!! YOU'LL NEED THAT!!! So save your airfare & just set it aside instead.

Remove the four dead, dead AA cells, and dispose of or recycle them as you see fit.
Do not use your foot to push them under the Lazy-Boy where the dog might find them, do not attempt to flush them down the loo, and for God sakes please do not throw them over the side of a dock where they might hit a flounder on the way down to the sea bottom.

Insert four new AA cells, orienting each of them so that their flat-ends (-) negatives face the springs for them in each chamber.

Finally, slide the battery door back on, and start reading again!

Aren't you glad that you didn't fly that battery door to Hollywood where it would get ground into microscopic bits for the sake of some phoney-bologna fake Halloween movie now?

This is a reading light, not a flashlight meant to be thrashed, trashed, and abused. So I won't try to drown it in the toliet tank, bash it against a steel rod or against the concrete floor of a carport in effort to try and expose the bare Metalguilmon - er - the bare Metalguardramon - um that's not it either...the bare Metalterriermon...mmm...the bare a sec here...THE BARE METAL (guess I've been watching too much Digimon again! - now I'm just making {vulgar slang term for feces} up!!!)...O WAIT!!! WHERE'S THE METAL?!?, let my mother's big dog's ghost, her kitties, my kitty or my sister's kitty cat piddle (uranate) on it, hose it down with my mother's gun, run over it with a 450lb Quickie Pulse 6 motorised wheelchair, stomp on it, use a medium ball peen hammer in order to bash it open to check it for candiosity, fire it from the cannoņata, drop it down the top of Mt. Erupto (now I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piņata" too much again - candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piņata Central {aka. "Party Central"}), with a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or with a pack-of-cards-sized device that Fergy Fudgehog uses; the cannoņata (also located at Piņata Central) is only used to shoot piņatas to piņata parties away from picturesque Piņata Island, and Mt. Erupto is an active volcano on Piņata Island), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analyses, or perform other indecencies on it that a flashlight might have to have performed on it. Therefore, this section of the Beam N ReadŽ Pilot's web page will seem a bit more bare than this section of the web page on a page about a flashlight that was born to be a flashlight and nothing but a flashlight.

The pink filter is mainly cosmetic as LEDs are inherently narrowband light sources; it was included primarily to give pilots and other nightttime users a bit of peace of mind -- yes, it's a psychological thing here.

You can still get these on their store at this URL but remaining stock is extremely limited -- only five (5) units remain as of 5:29am PDT 07-23-14!

Picture of the Beam N ReadŽ Pilot illuminating the pages of the book, "Planet LED (A Coffee Table Book)".

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this reading light (no filter).

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this reading light (no filter); spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 625nm and 635nm to pinpoint emission peak wavelength, which is 629.000nm.

The raw spectrometer data (comma-delimited that can be loaded into Excel) is at

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this reading light (red filter).

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this reading light (red filter); spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 625nm and 635nm to pinpoint emission peak wavelength, which is 632.320nm.

The raw spectrometer data (comma-delimited that can be loaded into Excel) is at

USB2000 Spectrometer graciously donated by P.L.

Test unit (along with their Classic and Classic Twin) was sent by B.F. of ASF Lightware Solutions on 07-09-14, and was received on the early-afternoon of 07-19-14 (but they arrived at my new location before I did; so I think that they arrived on the 11th or 12th).

UPDATE: 00-00-00



Beam N ReadŽ Pilot

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