Zax from the Commodore Amiga computer video game, "The First Samurai".

[TUBE]NfKC9EQ_WqI[/TUBE]



Zax from the pee-cee demo, "Gears++" by TBS (The Brain Slayer).

[TUBE]bGzgVBxRszQ[/TUBE]


"In My Baby Dollars Mind" -- Psychic Pissbrain
 
[TUBE]gmy0wSD6aL0[/TUBE]
 
For reasons still unknown, my Ipod now reports this song as,
"The Toilet. The Toilet. The Toilet Has a Big 'Ol Doo-Doo Clogging It" by, "Psychotropic Piddlebrain".
I submit to thee some proof, in Windows .WAV format.



"Penus I See" -- Gwar

[TUBE]McRO1SCcX4Y[/TUBE]

For reasons still unknown, my Ipod reports this song as, "Inseminator I Optically Image" by, "Gwar".
I submit to thee some proof, in Windows .WAV format.


Zax from the pee-cee demo, "Collapse" by TBS (The Brain Slayer).
 
[TUBE]76Lj_COyYDQ[/TUBE]

This song is a bit short, so the next one on my listening list was:

"I'm the Message" -- Karl Bartos
 
[TUBE]4tWcrrDGVpY[/TUBE]

Look at me: i'm the message
In sound and vision, here and now.
Listen to me: i'm the message
In sound and vision here and now.

Look at me: i'm the message
In sound and vision, here and now.
Listen to me: i'm the message
In sound and vision here and now.

In sound and vision
In sound and vision

Schau mich an: ich bin die botschaft
In bild und ton, hier und jetzt.
Hoer mir zu: ich bin die botschaft
In bild und ton, hier und jetzt.

Look at me: i'm the message
In sound and vision, here and now.
Listen to me: i'm the message
In sound and vision here and now.

In sound and vision
In sound and vision

In sound and vision
In sound and vision

In bild und ton
In bild und ton

In sound and vision
In sound and vision

In sound and vision
In sound and vision



Zax from the pee-cee demo, "Coma Demo"; music written by Crack Rat of TBS (The Brain Slayer).
 
[TUBE]76Lj_COyYDQ[/TUBE]


"Penus I See" -- Gwar

[TUBE]McRO1SCcX4Y[/TUBE]

They won't talk but still they say 
You kill for kicks, you got bills to pay 
Well baby I got bills to pay 
Don't make me act that way? 
Don't make me 
Don't make me 
Don't make me 
[Chorus:] 
Have you seen the center spread 
Stitched up like a baseball head 
She was dead before they raped her 
Now she's in the funny paper Pity and sin 
He's breaking in I am so sleepy 
Please don't rape me 
Me Me Penus I see 
Did you ever want to be obscene 
In a muerto magazine 
Filled with hate you hope to ween 
Fight the beast and leave the cream 
Leave the scene It's so easy to be the latest atrocity 
But it always seem to be a penis that I see 
You'd be surprised to discover 
My level of empathy I've gone from prey to victim 
Penis in me 
[Chorus] 
Splattered face mouths wordless whys 
Fingerprints are on the eyes 
In a box out back I kept her 
Plugged her stinking where I left her 
That's where I kept her




"The Toliet's Flooded" -- Limbomaniacs
 
[TUBE]bJ7b0z-J-6E[/TUBE]


"Pac-Man is Naked and So Should You" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]oOsdzwLRoOk[/TUBE]
 
(Okay, you hear the sound! The sound is PAC-MAN! Are you ready for PAC-MAN?)
(I am ready for Pac-Man!) (Yes, it is Pac-Man!) (Okay, Pac-Man!) (It is time to go!)

Being round a yellow guy? PAC-MAN!
Do he eating lots of dots? PAC-MAN!
Running up and down your street,
Screaming at your mailbox now,
Hanging from your ceiling fan? PAC-MAN!

(Yay! It is Pac-Man!) (Time for a Pac-Man!)
(We are very liking Pac-Man!) (Hooray now for the Pac-Man!)
(Much happy has this Pac-Man!) (Do I sing again about Pac-Man? Okay!)

Mouth a open and a close? PAC-MAN!
Run your fingers on my arm! PAC-MAN!
Jumping up and down real fast,
Putting butter in your hat,
Shaving all your fish at night? PAC-MAN!

(Ohh….)

It's time to Pac-Man!
The best way to Pac-Man is to use the game!
You moving joystick and you eat the dot,
Eat all the dot, you win another maze,
And mazes are the place where Pac-Man goes!
He eat a key or maybe eat a pear,
Cuz these are food for eating in the maze
But ghosts are making death so run away
Or make a blue ghost turn into a food!

(Oo, food! The Pac-Man likes food!)
(Lettuce is also food.)
(Do not talk about lettuce. It is time for Pac-Man.)
(More Pac-Man?)
(Yes, we will have another Pac-Man!)
(Okay, Pac-Man!)
(Where is Pac-Man?)
(Pac-Man is NOW!)

Eat a dot and eat a fruit? PAC-MAN!
Leaving something on the stove? PAC-MAN!
Spinning on a countertop,
Sniffing all your laundry now,
Blinky and Inky feeling rather sheepish? PAC-MAN!

(ohhhh…)

(Pac-Man!) (Pac-Man?) (Mmm ohh, Pac-Man!)
(There is no more song now!)


"Spatula" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]gHtIAx9S_qs[/TUBE]

Well I was alone sitting in the bathroom
I had just gone and now I didn't know what to do
I was real bored but I didn't wanna leave
'Cause I knew there was a lot of work waiting for me
So I grabbed my Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
Got some hand lotion and a big wad of Cleanax tissue
Looked at this girl she had the body of a Venus
So I oiled up my hand and started to stroke my
 
SPATULA
Spatula
Spatula
Spatula
SPATULA
Spatula
Spatula
Spatula
SPATULA
Spatula
Spatula
Spatula

Well I was walking down the street
I was looking for some kiwi fruits
Ran into a couple skanky-looking prostitutes
They said, "Hey baby fifty dollars gets you laid"
I said, "No thanks girls I can do without your AIDS"
They got mad they chased me 'round the parking lot
Calling me a worthless rat-infested hunk of rhino snot
One cornered me as I ran around the block
Stabbed me in the leg and almost hurt my

SPATULA
Spatula
Spatula
Spatula
SPATULA
Spatula
Spatula
Spatula
SPATULA
Spatula
Spatula
Spatula

{bridge}
 
I got something I carry but don't let you see
It's handle is long and I always keep it on me
It's always hard and I like to use it much
It helps me get into places that are far too hot to touch
I wash it with soap and with a washcloth I will stroke it
It's made out of plastic not like my old one 'fore I broke it
By now this song is probably getting you sick
So I'll end it by saying you can kindly suck my

SPATULA
Spatula
Spatula
Spatula
SPATULA
Spatula
Spatula
Spatula
SPATULA
Spatula
Spatula
Spatula



"I Wrote This" -- by Patric Star from the SpongeBob SquarePants episode, "Sing a Song of Patrick"

[TUBE]csy_KD1m_Ww[/TUBE]

Twinkle, Twinkle, Patrick Star, 
I made myself a sandwich. 
My mommy named it Fred, 
It tastes like beans and bacon, 
And smells like it's been dead. 
Writing stuff is hard so I use a pointy pencil 
Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Point. 
Piss you, what's that horrible smell? 

Drum solo! 
(Drum Solo) 

I have a head, 
It ends in a point 
Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Point. 
This song is over, 
except for this line, 
You win this round, 
Broccoli!


"Gary Come Home" -- from the SpongeBob SquarePants episode, "Have You Seen this Snail?"

[TUBE]LYfa3p4oaak[/TUBE]

Gary, now I know I was wrong
I messed up and now you're gone
Gary, I'm sorry I neglected you
Oh, I never expected you to run away
And leave me feeling this empty

Your meow right now would sound like music to me
Please come home 'cause I miss you Gary

Gary, come home
Gary, come home
Gary, come home

Gary, can't you see I was blind?
I'll do anything to change your mind
More than a pet, you're my best friend
Too cool to forget, come back 'cause we are family
And forgive me for making you wanna roam

And now my heart is beating like the saddest metronome
Somewhere I hope you're reading my latest three-word poem

Gary, come home
Gary, come home
Gary, come home

Gary, come home
Gary, come home
Gary, come home

Gary, come home
Gary, come home

Gary, come home
Gary, come home
Gary, won't you come home?



"Starting Up a Posse" -- Anthrax

[TUBE]xCaN3182pfI[/TUBE]

Now I'm gonna tell ya a story
A tale of wrong and Right
and freedom is the reason
You can't take it without a fight

So now I'm startin' up a posse
(Suck my dick, suck my dick)



To come and look for you
We're gonna put a stop
To what you want to do
You phucking whores (You phuckin' whores)
That's all you are

You say our records are offensive
(You're a douche, You're a douche)
Our messages ain't right
You say "We're gonna label records
So our kids can grow up right"
You phucking whores (Let them decide)
That's all you are

Shiit, phuck, satan, death, sex drugs, rape
These seven words you're trying to take
Shiit, phuck, Satan, death, sex, drugs, rape
Right or wrong it's our choice to make
America the beautiful, Land of the free
Don't change the woocrisy

Now I'm startin' up a posse (Fascist scum, fascist scum)
And we'll damn sure make you see
Something that offends you
May not be offensive to me
You phucking whores (You phuckin' whores)
That's all you are

Now you might take offense
To a word like "phuck" or "shiit" (Dick!)
But you phuckin' don't have the right (Cunt!)
To discriminate me for saying it!
You phuckin' whores (You phuckin' whores)
That's all you are

So now I'm startin' up a posse (Motherphucker, motherphucker)
To fight for freedom of choice
To fight for freedom of speech
We're gonna make you hear our voice

And now I don't do this to shock you
(That's the end, that's the end)
I don't do this for spite
You've got the choice, don't buy it, don't read it,
And don't say your opinion's right
You f*cking whores (You phuckin' whores)
That's all you are (Cunty, cunty, cunty, cunt)

You know you can't censor my feelings
You can't censor my thoughts
Censorship's against
Everything America stands for
You phuckin' whores (Let us decide)
That's all you are (And this ain't sexist, either)



"Goddammit Marc Gunn Shut Up About Your Cat" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]vwQzgFBlGEg[/TUBE]

Goddammit Marc Gunn, shut up about your cat
There's a world of subject matter to explore beyond that
Oh how cute, she licpphuckhuckked your eyelid
Oh how cute, she licked your bisque
Oh how cute, she's licking dookie
From her puckered asterisk

Goddammit Marc Gunn, your non-Bard discography
Is little more than an autoharp-heavy ode to all felinity
Oh how cute, she spewed a hairball
Oh how cute, she took a wiz
Oh how cute, she scratched your face
Isn't she precious? Yesh she is!

I'm a cat owner myself, but there's more to life, I swear
Than serenading walking screeching wads of allergens and hair
Read a book, go for a walk, see a movie, knit a quilt
Maybe buy yourself a lint brush, get the cat hair off your kilt

You don't just wear it on your sleeve, your scratched-up banner is unfurled
You're the "I Can Has Cheezburger" of the celtic filking world
Do the cat songs get the ladies? How much action have you got?
My suspicion is that ceiling cat's been watching you a lot

Goddammit Marc Gunn, shut up about your cat
There’s a pussy joke here, I’ll let Seamonkey handle that
Oh how cute, she licked your sandwich
Oh how cute, she chewed your pen
Oh how cute, she ate a thumbtack, puked it up, ate it again!

And the kitties say
(huck)(huck)(huck)(huck)(huck)(huck)HA-KAAAAAK!
(huck)(huck)(huck)(huck)(huck)(huck)HA-KAAAAAK!
(huck)(huck)(huck)(huck)(huck)(huck)HA-KAAAAAK!
(huck)(huck)(huck)(huck)(huck)(huck)HA-KAAAAAK!




"Map Light" -- The Great Luke Ski with Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]YorAA_8Dn3Y[/TUBE]




"Inner Voice" -- Worm Quartet with Devo Spice fka. Sudden Death
  
[TUBE]AmLFVATlt5[/TUBE]
 
I'm happily married with a house and three mistresses
Even with the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is
Got a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and some Lexuses
And all the girls I know got the big big breasteses
I got a ten story mansion on the beach
With a swimming pool filled up with the drool of Robin Leach
Richer than a Twinkie, I got so much cash
That to me Paris Hilton is poor white trash
I take forty-seven weeks of vacation a year
If people piss me off I can make 'em disappear
Every time I sneeze I get a feature on the news
The reporter says "gesundheit" and hilarity ensues
And how did I get to be the man that I am?
A god among men, only without the tan
It's simple, every time I have to make a choice
I just listen to my little inner voice, and he says
 
"Shave all the hair off your butt and glue it to your nostrils"
 
OK
 
"Steal all the milk from all the supermarkets and put it
back in the cows"
 
Alright
 
"Find out which species of rodent is the most flammable"
 
OK
 
"Let's see what fun crafts we can make using only a chainsaw
and Regis Philbin"
 
Yeah!
 
So how do I explain my little cranial expressions
Intuition, premonition, or demonic possession?
It could be God, an angel, or my dead uncle Paul
Or that nasty purple fuzzy thing that lives in my wall
Doesn't matter, and to be honest I don't wanna know
'Cause thanks to him I've never had to deal with an HMO
And I can go show off my rocket powered solid gold Benz
I tell ya life is no much nicer with invisible friends
 
"Record an all-banjo Falco tribute album"
 
Done, and done.
 
"Put on a tutu, glue two live wiener dogs to your face, and
prance around the subway terminal screaming 'Stop looking at me!'"
 
OK
 
"There's no reason not to have sex with a cheese grater."
 
Hmm, no, I suppose not.
 
"Set up a stand outside of K-Mart with a plate full of frozen peas
and a sign reading 'Take one!' If anyone asks you what the hell
your doing, give them a button that says 'I asked about the peas!'"
 
He's become my best friend, sticks with me to the end
Thanks to him I'll never live on Ramen noodles again
And he's always by my side, every minute, every hour
Though it does get kinda creepy when I'm trying to take a shower
Still I can't complain 'cause he made me rich
And figured out it was the opossum milk that made me itch
If it seems weird remember the voice made me do it
I don't question what he says I just get up and get to it
 
"Itemize everything in your cat's litter box for the next seven years
and mail a report to the President with a note saying 'Here!'"
 
Good idea
 
"It's time to find out what urinal mints taste like"
 
If you say so
 
"Get a black and white horizontally striped suit, a mask,
and a bowling ball with a small length of rope hanging from it,
and tiptoe around the airport."
 
Sounds like fun
 
"How old does a baby need to be before it's too big
to flush down the toilet?"
 
I don't know. Let's find out.
 
"Keep swallowing magnets until your farts can erase video tapes."
 
So to that guy in my head I just wanna say thanks
For removing my angst, so I'm no longer shooting blanks
And now I own several banks, plus an inflatable watch
And paid Justin Timberlake to let me kick him in the crotch
I followed his advice and now I'm making major duchets
If it wasn't for him I'd still be processing McNuggets
So when life makes you feel like you should've stayed in bed
Just listen to the voice in your head, and he'll say
 
"Fat people are full of toys. Go get some!"
 
Yeah!
 
"Build a 20 foot tall nude statue of Tony Goldmark licking
warm margarine off a malnourished dolphin out of onions,
pez, and lint."
 
With pleasure!
 
"If Yanni didn't want to be set on fire and shoved down
a flight of stairs, surely he would have said so explicitly by now."
 
Yeah, I guess so.
 
"Go to a McDonald's Playland, tie that big Officer Big Mac
thing to the back of your car, and drive away at 90 mph. When a
cop pulls you over, roll down the window and indignantly ask 'WHAT?'"
 
You got it!
 
"Move to New Jersey and become a comedy rap artist."
 
Oh... do I have to?




Music demo from the Synth Werk computer program, titled, "SYNTH-WERK Trailer Demo HD bestservice".

[TUBE]5ccdgOcQvxY[/TUBE]



This song is a bit brief, so the next one up this morning was:


Music demo from the Synth Werk computer program, titled, "Musique Internacionale" from 2012

[TUBE]BiPHly-g7Xk[/TUBE]




Music demo from the Synth Werk computer program, titled, "Musique Elektronique" from 2011

[TUBE]F2pPhGMmE-k[/TUBE]










"Expo 2000 Kling Klang 2002" -- Kraftwerk 

[TUBE]ASXqMvpuz4U[/TUBE]



*** NSFW!!!***

Synthesised speech that I heard in 1987, originating from a Commodore 64 computer.
 
While I was working at a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaraunt in Kenmore WA. USA in 1987, some
dillhole brought in a ghetto blaster after the manager had left and played this tape he 
recorded from his Commodore 64 computer. I immediately recognised the voice as having been
generated by S.A.M. (Software Automated Mouth); various phrases were spoken that were 
intended to put down our manager.

 
These phrases are almost an exact duplicate of the ones I heard; I say "almost" here because
the person's name was mentioned in some of the phrases. I replaced their name with "HE" 
to prevent him (initials are A.B.) from coming after me for putting this filth on the internet. ;-)
 
[TUBE]46SrfoV2Eok[/TUBE]

The speech in this audio is as follows:

A PHUCKING COCKSUCKER SLASHED THE TIRES ON MY BICYCLE.
HE IS A COCKSUCKER.
THEREFORE, HE'S THE ONE WHO SLASHED THE TIRES ON MY BICYCLE.

HE DRINKS MASSENGILL BRAND POST-MENSTRUAL DISPOSABLE DOUCHES.

HE THINKS THAT TV IS A DISEASE.

HE THINKS THAT LIGHT BULBS ARE PLANTED IN THE GARDEN EVERY SPRING.

HE PISSES IN THE SHOWER.

HE $#!7S IN THE SHOWER AND STOMPS IT DOWN THE DRAIN.

HE HAS VD.

HE ALSO HAS AIDS.

SNAP OFF HIS SPARK PLUGS, PUT A HOLE IN HIS RADIATOR, AND SLASH HIS TIRES.

ATARI COMPUTERS ARE PIECES OF SH!T.

COMMODORE COMPUTERS ARE #1.

HE HAS CRABS ON HIS BALLS & PENIS.

HE EATS THE CRABS ON HIS BALLS & PENIS.

HE EATS LIGHT BULBS & DRINKING GLASSES & POO-POO.

PUT HIM IN THE 10-3 AND CLOSE THE LID.

HE THROWS CIGARETTES AND LIGHTERS IN THE COLLECTRAMATIC FOR NINE HOURS.



"Pulp" -- a National Lampoon audio skit that was synthesised on a pee-cee
  
[TUBE]nTnez-IinH0[/TUBE]





"Jump in the Fire" -- Metallica

[TUBE]wG_R5n9yIPg[/TUBE]


"Ball of Confusion (That's What the World is Today)" -- Anthrax

[TUBE]acrUyp0pdoA[/TUBE]




"Ball of Confusion" -- from the movie, "Sister Act 2"

[TUBE]YCx97Gbe4Pc[/TUBE]



"Bring the Noise" -- Anthrax and Pubic Enemy

[TUBE]CEwKCu0P89cc[/TUBE]


"Dream On" -- Aerosmith 

[TUBE]hHRNSeuvzlM[/TUBE]






"Safe Home" -- Anthrax

[TUBE]MMRgrZYzg4A[/TUBE]

I've been down this road once or twice before
through the open door
i come falling through it
there's a sign post up ahead
like a watershed
and it opens my eyes
ways, for me to be gay
to be born again
and knowing for the first time
ways, all so differently
shine for me to see
the better man that I am

I've been places in my head
behind me worse than what's ahead
and on my path just like a dream
takes me from the inbetween
from out of nowhere you came strong as stone
and now I'll never have to be alone
what it is I know

you have always been my safe home
I walk, I run, I burn out into you
you have always been my safe home
my whole world has moved on

I know what i am and I'll always be
your reality, is better than I could dream
all my fears turn from black to white
and i'd stand and fight
the whole world for you
faith, and destiny
I never did believe
my only god is love and
faith, what I see in you
and I can hold it true
like a weight in my hand.



"Damage, Inc." -- Metallica

[TUBE]NbLMrce7OJI[/TUBE]



"Carbonated Hamsters" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]RO7fJywKUlc[/TUBE]


"Climb the Wall" -- Psychic Pissbrain

[TUBE]tibK8wT9OAU[/TUBE]
 
For reasons still unknown, my Ipod now reports this song as, "The Plastic Cat Toliet is Flooded" by, "Psychotectic Urinehead".
I submit to thee some proof, in Windows .WAV format:
http://ledmuseum.candlepower.us/45/tuh.wav




"Fantasy" -- Aldo Nova
 
[TUBE]WDR7ADwWq78[/TUBE]
This song is about snorting coke; however I do not use blow or other inhalant drugs.

City nights, summer breezes makes you feel all right
Neon lights, shinin' brightly make it rain at night
See the girls with the dresses so tight
Give you love, if the price is right
Black or white, In the streets there's no wrong and no right, no

Outta site, buy your kicks from the man in the white
Feels all right, powdered pleasure in your nose tonight {sniffing sound}
See the men paint their faces and cry
Like some girls, it makes you wonder why
City life, sure its cool, but it cuts like a knife, it's your life

So forget all that you see
It's not reality, it's just a fantasy

Can't you see what this crazy life is doin' to me?
Life is just a fantasy, can you live this fantasy life?
Life is just a fantasy, can you live this fantasy life?

So forget all that you see
It's not reality, it's just a fantasy

Can't you see what this crazy life is doin' to me?
Life is just a fantasy, can you live this fantasy life?
Life is just a fantasy, can you live this fantasy life?
Life is just a fantasy, can you live this fantasy life?
Life is just a fantasy, can you live this fantasy life?
Oh no, oh no!










"Musical Doodle" -- from the SpongeBob SquarePants episode, "Ear Worm"

[TUBE]Jhjb-4i1Hs0[/TUBE]

Round and round the record spins all day
Listen again it takes you far away,
Trying to stop it is futile
So just listen now to my musical doodle

Think you control it but it’s way too hard
Every time is plays it’s an electric charge
The sound in your head is brutal
Now you're infected by the musical doodle

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
You're gonna listen again to the musical doodle

The song that you ran from is back again
You wonder if the madness with ever end,
Trying to escape it is futile
So just listen now to my musical doodle
 
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo musical doodle
Listen again to the musical doodle


This song is pretty short, so the next one that I listened to was:


Zax from the coin-op arcade video game, "Afterburner ][" aka., "Afterburner Deluxe" by Sega from 1987.

[TUBE]hxeq2EFbrbk[/TUBE]



"Fuucking Hostile" -- Pantera
  
[TUBE]E929gqIcwwI[/TUBE]

Almost every day
I see the same face
On broken picture tube
It fits the attitude
If you could see yourself
You put you on a shelf
Your verbal masturbate
Promise to nauseate
Today I'll play the part of non-parent
Not make a hundred rules
For you to know about yourself
Not lie and make you believe
What's evil is making love
and making friends
and meeting God you're own way
The right way

[Chorus]
To see
To bleed
Cannot be taught
In turn
You're making us
Fuuking hostile

We stand alone

The truth in right and wrong
The boundaries of the law
You seem to miss the point
Arresting for a joint?
You seem to wonder why
Hundreds of people die
You're writing tickets man
My mom got jumped -- they ran!
Now I'll play a public servant
To serve and protect
By the law and the state
I'd bust the punks
That rape steal and murder
And leave you be
If you crossed me
I'd shake your hand like a man
Not a god

[Chorus]

Come meet your maker, boy
Some things you can't enjoy
Because of heaven/hell
A fuuking wives' tale
They put it in your head
Then put you in your bed
He's watching say your prayers
Cause God is everywhere
Now I'll play a man learning priesthood
Who's about to take the ultimate test in life
I'd question things because I am human
And call NO ONE my father who's no closer that a stranger

I won't listen

To see
To bleed
Cannot be taught
In turn
You're making us
Fuuking
Fuuking
Fuuking
Fuuking hostile





"Metalingus" -- Alter Bridge
  
[TUBE]N-I8ALlYxdY[/TUBE]
 
I've been defeated and brought down
Dropped to my knees when hope ran out
The time has come to change my ways

On this day I see clearly everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we'll leave it all, leave it all behind

I'll never long for what might have been
Regret won't waste my life again
I won't look back
I'll fight to remain:

On this day I see clearly everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we'll leave it all, leave it all behind

On this day its so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel 
Chance to feel alive

Fear will kill me, all I could be
Lift these sorrows
Let me breathe, could you set me free
Could you set me free

On this day I see clearly everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we'll leave it all behind
On this day its so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel 
Chance to feel alive




"I Must Be Dreaming" -- Cheap Trick
 
[TUBE]LVtb65WYC5g[/TUBE]

You must be dreamin
You think I love you
You must be dreamin
To think I love you

Ill never do it again
There Ive said it again
Really mean it this time
Goin down, down, down, down, down

You must be dreamin
You think I love you
You must be dreamin
To think I love you

Yeah, you had me once
Oh, once and maybe twice
Gonna break your heart
Let you down, down, down

You must be dreamin
To think I love you
You must be dreamin
To think I love you

When I take it up again
Now Im out on a limb

I know Ill never do it again
There Ive said it again
Really mean this time
So I'm goin' down, down, down
Down, down, down, down

You must be dreamin'
To think I love you

Gotta get out of here
If Im gonna last
I know Im losin it fast
Im goin down for the count

Could not face the day
Couldnt face another night
Im sick of this shit
You bring me down, down, down
Down, down, down

You must be dreamin
To think I love you
You must be dreamin
To think I love you

When I take it up again
Now Im out on a limb

I know Ill never do it again
There Ive said it again
Really mean it this time
Goin down, down, down
Down, down, down, down, down, down

You must be dreamin
To think I love you
You must be dreamin
To think I love you

You must be dreamin
To think I love you
You must be dreamin
To think I love you

You must be dreamin
You must be dreamin

You must be dreamin
To think I love you
You must be dreamin
To think I love you


"Find the Dead Wingless Legless Fly in your Box of Raisins" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]WsWPfoR8twA[/TUBE]


"Tree Bucket" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]kGVX9Yq6LOQ[/TUBE]

Horse radish contest. 
Mr. Rogers is raping my car. 
Disposable kittens. 
I can shiit a biscuit. 
Hair hurts. 
My guts are a shoe testicle. 
Only the hat may drill froth fully over the hamper. 
Mars is a fish. 
Nasal detergent. 
Space is nice, almost like waffles. 
Your sled will have to be shot. 
I knit wood. 
The smell of glee annoys my broom. 
Rub pasta with a pitchfork to receive infinite combs. 
Merchandise sucks. 
Solar powered rope. 
Clean my cheese wisely or the chickens will be inverted. 

{I think I'll go ballistic now.}

The baby of the light switch and optical intercourse of the spleen of the broccoli flavored comb. 
My TV tube is demanding to be neutered. 
You taste like a problem. 
Daddy vacuumed chili peppers on a stick. 

{I think I'll stop going ballistic now.}

Do stuff with a vent. 
My helmet is the lamppost. 
Open the flip-top squirrel. 
Overhead projectors should scream more.




 




"Strap-On Brain" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]zjEoYg7V1ng[/TUBE]
 
You're ranting 'bout albums by the Masturbating Croutons
And Vinnie Viagra and the Limp Prick Krue
You tell me the Snailfuuckers were your greatest influence
But Timmy Tampon and the Stringalongs sure meant a lot to you
 
You're dropping names with Dennis Miller smugness
And with Rob Scheffield pretentiousness you analyze
And though you're cool on the outside, you're giggling internally
Cuz though I'm nodding you can see confusion in my eyes
 
Congratulations fuuckface
You're the indie rock obscurity king
So here's your fuucking trophy
Go stick it in the hole that makes your colon sing
 
Put on my strap-on brain to think at your level
But it makes me feel dirty
Makes me feel dirty 
(Put on my) strap-on brain to think at your level
But it makes me feel so fuucking dirty now
 
You've worked in the same cubicle for almost 20 years
You've got two kids a mortgage and an SUV
Climbed the corporate ladder 'til you got some underlings
And bless my lucky fuucking stars, one of 'em's me
 
You say they should mandate uniforms in public school
Cuz how can your kid learn when his friend's dressed like a slob?
Opinions are like assholes and yours could use some wiping
But I've gotta nod and smile just to keep my job
 
Have you always been so boring?
Did you have a soul and where did it go?
Was it your childhood ambition
To bitch about your golf game and your stock portfolio?
 
Put on my strap-on brain to think at your level
But it makes me feel dirty
Makes me feel dirty 
(Put on my) strap-on brain to think at your level
But it makes me feel so fuucking dirty now
 
Even the world's biggest moron
Has always got his own point of view
And he's just smart enough to know you can't disagree
If he's got any power over you
 
So when somebody's spouting walrus sh!t
But you're not allowed to tell 'em
Society dictates that thou shall bite thy tongue
And strap a cranial dildo to your cerebellum
A cranial dildo to your cerebellum
 
You're an ex-jock with a buzzcut, raised in West Virginia
With the 12-pack in your belly slowly flowing through your veins
You take me aside to tell me 'bout your high school days
When cheerleaders would spread for you after every game
 
Your breath gets worse as your drunken head bobs closer
And you rant about the homos and the homies and the spics
And I contemplate all my possible responses
And I weigh how much each one of them will get my ass kicked
 
You wasted redneck fuuckwit
Raised by the WWF
Let me buy you a cold one
So you can kill the three brain cells you've got left
 
Put on my strap-on brain to think at your level
But it makes me feel dirty
Makes me feel dirty 
(Put on my) strap-on brain to think at your level
But it makes me feel so fuucking dirty now









"Deodourant" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]cCFTZiQE6zM[/TUBE]


"Dead Tacos" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]6FMYmntgO0M[/TUBE]



"Let's Break Some Furniture" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]gHtIAx9S_qs[/TUBE]






"Coffee -- 2003 Grind" -- Worm Quartet

[TUBE]Ue-aLLEKBmc[/TUBE]
 
CAFFEINATION ACTIVATION!
 
Sitting in my cubicle
Trying to pass the time
Click the little envelope
But no new mail's online
My schedule program shows me
All this crap I have to do
A post-it note upon my desk
says "Nobody called you"
I write myself a reminder note
To throw that note away
I check my voice mail even though
I've been sitting here all day
It says "You have no messages
No life no hope no friends"
And You've still got seven hours
'Til this freakin’ workday ends
 
But I can smell salvation
It's brewing down the hall
The percolator sings to me
And I must heed its call
As liquid touches styrofoam
I feel the steam's sweet kiss
And I know I'm just seconds away
From caffeinated bliss
 
Coffee coffee coffee
To stimulate my brain
Coffee coffee coffee
To make me less insane
I used to be a zombie
And I'd fall asleep at work
Now everybody knows me as
The hyperactive jerk
 
Now that I'm Chock full'o'nuts
My job is just a game!
I open up my phone book and
I highlight every name!
I bend my paper clips into
The shapes of little men
I search the net for Amish porn
I take apart my pen
I open up the three-hole punch
And spill holes on the floor
I fire staples ‘cross the room
'Til I don't have no more
I laminate my lunch meat
I link my rubber bands
(Make a) Xerox of my hairy ass
And fax it to Japan
 
And when the buzz starts wearing off
And when I'm feeling low
I pour myself another mug
My cup shall overflow
Eleven packs of sugar
And a couple spoons of creamer
And I shall receive the gift of life
From my liquid redeemer
 
Coffee coffee coffee
Come on and drink it up
Coffee coffee coffee
Nirvana in a cup
I used to be a pisson, just a
worthless wad of gristle
'til I replaced by brain cells
with instant Folger's crystals
 
My boss calls me in his office
He says "Now listen, you...
"I have a little problem
"with the crappy work you do
"I never see you at your desk
"So what's been going on?
"Half the time you're at the coffee pot,
"The rest you're in the John!
"Your eyes are always bloodshed
"Your hands they always shake
"Your skin's the tone of dead flesh
"At the bottom of a lake
"We think this has to do with all
“The coffee that you chug
"So we’re switching you to decaf
"And we’re cleaning out your mug"
 
These words to me were blasphemy
I found them just appalling
So I kicked that bastard somewhere
That I knew would leave him crawling
Now I’m jobless homeless on the street
You could say I’ve got hard luck
But I’ve got a gun and now I’m gonna
Go hold up a Starbucks
 
Coffee coffee coffee
With sugar and with cream
Coffee coffee coffee
The reason for my being
I used to be so tired
I'd pass out on the floor
Now I haven't needed a wink of sleep
Since 1994
 
Coffee coffee coffee
It's great to have around
Coffee coffee coffee
I even eat the grounds
I used to be a drone,
Now I'll never be the same!
I drink a hundred cups a day
Juan Valdez knows my name





"I Don't Give a Sh!t About Your Website" -- Worm Quartet

[TUBE]jq-rwhoHMzw[/TUBE]
 
I got an e-mail from a guy who claims to know me
Claimed he graduated from my high school in the class two years below me
And he sat three seats behind me in my composition class
And he remembers my old Anthrax shirt that showed off the crack of my ass
"Anyway" he says "Just figured I should drop you a line"
"To let you know that my homepage is finally online"
"It took me weeks and weeks but it's finally all done"
"So surf on over cyber-buddy it'll be such fun!"

He closed with the ugliest signature I'd seen in a while
And a clichéd insincere colon-parenthesis smile
The message then repeated with a lot of brackets in it
I stared in utter horror and just sat there for a minute
From the onslaught of stupidity my mind was fuking beat
But from deep in my mind a voice screamed "Dammit, delete!"
And as my pointer flailed in panic trying to send this thing to Hell
I accidentally clicked right on his fuking URL

The screen went yellow but the font was yellow too
So I couldn't see a thing and there was nothing I could do
My P-120 churned and growled like my hard drive was exploding
30 minutes went by and the first banner was still loading
I clicked "Stop" and I clicked "Exit" but my browser just ignored me
And 3 dozen Geocities ads were popping up before me
Every ad had its own window every window spawned another
And the windows spawned more windows 'til the screen was fuking smothered

So I went for a walk, just so some time could be spent,
I came back and it was still sitting at 2 percent
So I made myself some dinner and I played a game of Doom,
I read a couple novels and I wallpapered my room
Three days later it was loaded and my keyboard started to function
There was nothing but a 10-gig JPEG saying "Under Construction"
The only link on the page said "click here to e-mail me"
So I picked a font big enough for astronauts to see (and typed)

I don't give a sh!t about you fuking website
I don't give a sh!t about the life you live
I wouldn't give a sh!t about your fuking website
If I had a hundred spare sh!ts to give

Then a few days later another blast from the past
I got an e-mail from an ex who had dumped me on my ass
She said "My web site's up, it's something you've gotta see!"
So I figured I should make sure there weren't any pictures of me
I clicked and suddenly I was bathed in cutesy clipart galore
With more flowers birds and bunnies than a fuking Hallmark store!
It said "This is my page, and it's all about me."
"Everything you'll ever need to know updated daily"

There were stories about her sister, and pages about her Prom,
And pictures of the coming out party for her Mom,
There were pictures of her friends, and pictures of her hats,
And a hundred thousand pictures of her scraggly ugly cats
There were links to every fuking page that she even knew
And each one of them was broken, she even misspelled "Yahoo"
When I got through every fuking poem that she had ever wrote
I figured it was time to drop this stupid bitch a note (saying)

I don't give a sh!t about your fuking website
I don't give a sh!t about the life you live
I wouldn't give a sh!t about your fuking website
If I had a hundred spare sh!ts to give

MORE SYNTH NOW!

There's so much bullshit on the web it fills me with rage
Hell, even Bea Arthur has her own fuking page
So don't waste my precious time each day is only so long
I could be using that time to write another stupid song
So the moral of this story, I think it's plain to see
If your website sucks big walrus cock don't send it to me!
And if you do don't be surprised, if I get really pissed
And subscribe you to the Micheal Bolton fan club mailing list!

I don't give a sh!t about you fuking website
I don't give a sh!t about the life you live
I wouldn't give a sh!t about your fuking website
If I had a hundred spare sh!ts to give

PRANCE!

I don't give a shiiiiit, I don't give a shiiiiii-iiiit about your motherfuking website
I don't give a shiiiiit, I don't give a shiiiiii-iiiit about your motherfuking website
I don't give a shiiiiit, I don't give a shiiiiii-iiiit about your motherfuking website
I don't give a shiiiiit, I don't give a shiiiiii-iiiit about your motherfuking website
I don't give a shiiiiit, I don't give a shiiiiii-iiiit about your motherfuking website
I don't give a shiiiiit, I don't give a shiiiiii-iiiit about your motherfuking website
I don't give a shiiiiit, I don't give a shiiiiii-iiiit about your motherfuking website
(fade to black)



"Gift Certificates and Intense Agonizing Throbbing Pain" -- Worm Quartet

[TUBE]Fywdg0FiFKg[/TUBE]



"'C' is for Lettuce" -- Worm Quartet

[TUBE]BV9i_67_Z2k[/TUBE]

I've listened to you bitch, I've listened to you whine
But you couscous-eating yuppie jerks have gone too far this time!
Your kids are getting fatter and the outlook's rather bleak
Despite you putting them on three fad diets every week
So do you take the blame, and make a change at home?
No dammit, you're American! You're born to bitch and moan!
And just like every problem, your solution is the same:
Your V-chipped cable-ready babysitter is to blame!

Cuz every single character in every single show
Must be shaped and molded perfectly to help your children grow
Cuz if they're not ideal role models and beacons for good health
You might just have to be one -- yourself!

And who has time for that?

So with your pen of judgment, you turn on your TV
Prepared to write down ev-e-ry indecency you see
There's a googly-eyed Muppet with a coat of navy blue
He grabs a plate of something -- hey, that don't look like tofu!
And with a ghastly "Om nom nom" the cookies disappear
And suddenly the reason for your offspring's size is clear
This gluttonous monster’s brainwashed them and driven them to gorge!
Someone must stop this Toll-House-fueled, sloth-inducing scourge!
Because you're far too busy, you can't teach your kids to see
That reality is different from what's broadcast on TV
So you know that they'll just emulate the things the puppets do
And that might reflect badly on you!

Now you're
Screaming for the blood of the Cookie Monster
Evil puppet demon of o-be-si-ty
Time to change the tune of his fearful ballad --
C is For Lettuce, That's Good Enough For Me!

So now you start to think, your kid may be depressed
Even though each day he sees a different therapist
So you go to his classroom, which is looking rather stark
Cuz their funds were voted down last year to build a baseball park
The teacher says he's failing English, history and math
And suddenly it's clear what's led him down this darkening path
You can't call it, "Failing!" That's such a scathing word!
We'll just call it, "Success that's temporarily deferred!"

Cuz language can be powerful, to raise and to depress
That's why we no longer have "Shell Shock" we have "Post-Traumatic Stress"
And the only way to keep our precious darlings out of jail
Is to make them think that they can never fail!

And now you're
Screaming for the blood of the underpaid teacher
After all your taxes pay her yearly 12-G
You can't change the world, so just change what you call it --
F is For Almost, That's Good Enough For Me!

(Bridge!)

No one understands just how brutal you have it
You wake up each morning and have to fight traffic
Then spend all day chained to your laptop and beeper
Kiss some client’s ass and then play some minesweeper
Then hightail it over to your yoga lessons
Then lattes, pilates, and therapy sessions
Where you whine and ramble and dab your eyelids
And complain that you never get time with your kids!

Spoken voice 1: Can you tell me, how to get... how to get to hypocrisy street?
Spoken voice 2: Uh, yeah, that's kinda heavy-handed, there, don't you think?
Spoken voice 1: Uh, yeah, so's this whole song, so, I'll try it -- why not?

You've bitched your yuppie heart out, and meddled with the best
But your brooding fatass offspring keeps deferring his success
So what the hell's the problem? It surely can't be you!
It must be all the violence on his PlayStation 2!
Just look at this atrocity! There's hoodlums, thugs, and skanks
And chronic-tokin' gangstas running hookers down with tanks
There's nudity and blood and guts and chainsaws cutting people
And that's just in the new updated 3-D Tetris sequel!

And sure there's labels on the games that say that they're, "Mature"
But now honestly, just who the hell reads labels anymore?
Tell me, wouldn't it be easier for parents 'cross the land
If games that aren't for kids were all just banned?

Now you're
Screaming for the blood of the game programmer
Gaming should just be a children's industry
Pixellated actors should be role models --
M is For Censored, That's Good Enough For Me!

Screaming for a new place to point your finger
Won't rest 'til the whole world is rated "PG"
Don't stop to think what those letters really stand for
"M" is for "Censored"
"F" is for "Almost"
"C" is for "Lettuce,"
That's Good Enough For Me!





"I'm Not a Girl" -- Worm Quartet

[TUBE]_Z39IrspIiU[/TUBE]

I went to a Karaoke bar with my friend Coffee
In a small New England hick and junkie town
We mesmerized the crowd with our rendition of “I Touch Myself”
Ordered up a couple bottles and sat down
There was this older guy sitting way across the bar
He was giving me a weird obnoxious stare
And I couldn't really tell if he wanted to kick my ass
Or if he just thought he knew me from somewhere
 
(We spoke in the loo)
 
(musical interlude of doom)
 
He finally stumbled over (and) told us 'bout his catholic mother
We could tell he'd had a drink or twenty-three
So when he called me "her" I just assumed it was a tongue slip
That was courtesy of Mister Jackie D
Coffee let the dam break and let loose a tide of bullsh!t
'Bout his altar boy indiscretions back in the day
The guy just nodded drunkenly and put his arm around me
And said "Where'd you meet this big girl anyway?"
 
My stunned brain regressed to Grover teaching me 'bout "near" and "far"
And the latter seemed quite preferable to staying in this bar
So I deftly ducked and covered from the boozing loser's grasp
Wished him luck on his ambiguity and started hauling ass
 
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
If long hair's all it takes to fool you
Then you must have skipped biology, avoided sociology
And probably bypassed puberty too
 
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
Have you ever seen a female anyhow?
Cuz if women looked like me, I think the porno industry
Would be filing for bankruptcy by now
 
I'm not a girl!
 
I was at a drive-through shouting product names at a speaker
(yelled) "Just a value chicken sandwich and two pies" 
(distorted response  "Thank you drive through")
And an Oxy-basted numskull in a giant NASA headset
Said "Here you go, a large Coke and large fries."
I shook my head politely and I restated my order
And he looked at me as if this was a scam
He re-studied his order screen, re-held the foodstuffs out to me
And shrugged and muttered "That's what it says, ma'am."
 
Was I s'posed to just accept my lot, and take the proffered swill?
For the Mighty Screen hath spoken, who am I to doubt its will?
I just told him "I don't give a fuuck what's on your CRT
"Can you even read it anyway when you can't even see
 
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
How the holy hell can't you see that?
Sure my chest has got some perk, that don't mean my nipples work
I can't lactate, buddy, I'm just fat!
 
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
Don't you know about the birds and bees?
What in God's name must I do, just to get this through to you?
Should I walk around with my pants around my knees?
 
I'm not a girl!
 
My build is not petite, I've got awkward hanging meat
I can wipe myself any way I choose
I don't need no medication to inhibit procreation
And I don't listen to Dave Matthews
 
I get no joy from shoppin’ and you won’t catch me she-boppin’
Though I’m turnin’ Japanese most every night (I really think so!)
When my sub-torso region’s ill, I buy Cruex not Vagisil
To alleviate the evil fungal blight (All Right) (All Right)
 
I was stuck in K-Mart while my wife was trying clothes on
Which is oftentimes a fate worse than a briss
When I heard a hobbling 80-something woman from behind me 
In a nasal voice say "Miss? Excuse me, miss?"
I turned around and gave the bitch a look that could melt a poodle
In the hope that this would make my gender clear
Undeterred she gave me that impatient retail shopper look
And said "Excuse me miss, do you work here?"
 
What drugs does Medicare provide to make one think that it's the norm
For a Dead Kennedys shirt and jeans to be a K-Mart uniform?
As confusion turned to anger and I felt the bile flow
I let loose a veangeful mad retort, the gist of which was...
 
"Um...no."
 
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
Don't you dare make me whip out my gland
I don't hang with my friends in malls, I've never played with Barbie dolls
'Least not without a lighter in my hand
 
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
I may be bitchy but it isn't PMS
Not a teardrop did I show, when they drowned DiCaprio
I was still thinking 'bout Kate Winslet's breasts
 
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
You'll seldom see me wearing pantyhose
Go ahead and x-ray me, you won't find one ovary
If Oprah likes a book, I know it blows
 
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl)
...
 
(fade out eventually)



"You're Bird Stinks" -- Worm Quartet

[TUBE]GoMKQdsi2Jg[/TUBE]
 
Bob:
Kenneth, Kenneth, Kenneth.
Ken:
That's my name, sir, spoken thrice
Bob:
There's a foulness wafting from your 
fowl-enclosure device
Ken:
Surely crap you must be speaking!
Bob:
That's the stench of which I speak
Ken:
And from whence hath this stench cometh?
Bob:
From that critter with the beak
Ken:
There's no stench that I can sense, Bob
Bob:
Hath thy nostrils gone insane?
Hath thy stench-sensing synapses
Leapt from out thy troubled brain?
Nay, proximity for long terms
Must have dulled thy senses, Ken
For I smell it now, and when I sniff
I smell it once again
 
Both:
Your bird stinks, your bird stinks
Don't you know your bird stinks
Your bird stinks, your bird stinks
Don't you know your bird stinks
 
Ken:
The olfactory offenses, Bob,
that you insinuate
Could they not be from the fumes
Produced digesting what you ate?
For the nose mayhap which smelt it
Verily could be attached
To the anus which hath dealt it
Check thy briefs, sir, for a patch!
 
Bob:
Why, how dare you, Ken, you bastard,
Ne'er a stench so ripe and foul
Hath erupted from the depths of
Any mortal human bowel!
Let alone those that I call my own
Oh Ken, you caustic cad!
Ken:
Bob, your poo don't smell like roses
Bob:
Yeah, but Ken, it ain't that bad
 
Both:
Your bird stinks, your bird stinks
Don't you know your bird stinks
Your bird stinks, your bird stinks
Don't you know your bird stinks
 
Bob:
Look upon your addled parrot
Was it your intent to scare it
When you lined its cage with lyrics
By Rob Zombie and Syd Barrett?
Cuz it did what anything would do
In quarters such as these
Unleashed its bowels' contents
With no small degree of ease
 
Ken:
Is it really necessary
To critique my aviary
By the way of nasal passages 
both mucousy and hairy
Bob:
No inspection was conducted
I just merely passed it by
And the stench, Ken, did affront
The very laws the nose lives by
because
 
Your bird stinks, your bird stinks
Don't you know your bird stinks
Your bird stinks, your bird stinks
Don't you know your bird stinks
 
Bob:
Kenneth, Kenneth, Kenneth
Kenneth:
Bobby boy Starfleet by rage
Bob:
Get thy stench from off thy pet, sir!
Kenneth:
Get thy nose from out my cage!
For this pesudo-foppish discourse
Now hath reached its ending line
Bob:
May thy testes, then, explodeth!
Kenneth:
And may thee, Bob, choke on thine!
 
Both:
Your bird stinks, your bird stinks
Don't you know your bird stinks
Your bird stinks, your bird stinks
Don't you know your bird stinks
Your bird stinks, your bird stinks
Don't you know your bird stinks
Your bird stinks, your bird stinks
Don't you know your bird sodding stinks
Oh my!
 







"Adventures in Creative Nostril Swallowing" -- Worm Quartet

[TUBE]vVZp2hEp8Is[/TUBE]

You smell like philosophy!  I prance through a field
of electric genitalia and invisible condiments, but 
gelatinous oven mitts and cellophane pancakes just
keep humping rainbows.  Nobody wears goggles to 
church anymore.  Are you gargling your xylophone 
at the masturbating burrito parade?  Oh no! This 
paste is NEAT!  The poodle of harm is destroying 
your arm while the toastlord chisels panties into clichés.
C’mon, Jesus!  Get out your wigglin’ boots!  Pudding is 
to justice as atheism is to the sound of a crepe-infested 
bellhop trying to glaze nine mice with a one-mouse 
glazing wand.  Excessive yak-strumming can only lead to 
podiatry, but cultivating rectal atrocities makes it easier to
alphabetize your shredded pets.  When the batteries that 
fuel your carrot become the horse that won’t pucker, only
then shall the pope become properly funky.  I’ve just been 
elected Delaware!  If the electric superduck disavows its 
own uvula and you’re really a collection of sentient clothespins
held together by the wet dreams of our forefathers, then I 
want a receipt!  C’mon, France, can’t you explode just a 
little?  This wax replica of Barbra Streissand’s left penis 
proves that my maiden name is Julio P. Throb-o-tron.  Stop
impersonating my hairline!  Your monkey had much better 
manners before it was on fire.  Is your tugboat boneless or 
are we still excreting conical sorcerers?  The liverless know 
not of diesel, and yet the moon is politely farting scriptures 
into the goat puddle while the drooling ambassadorof stapler 
vomit has found a new way to turn condoms into bouillon!  
Let’s blame pumpernickel for apostrophes!  I can’t schmuck-
proof my mayonnaise until you admit that Mormons lick 
skates.  Don’t even tell me you glued your urethra to 
another panther!  Lend me your groin!  Butter your shovel!
Peel your apostles!  Lubricate your acoustic waitress-hammer 
on a bed of boiled muppets!  Taste the unfiltered nonchalance 
of my vine-ripened colander of pain!  Marvel with soup-induced
 rage at my breathtaking lack of lumber or one day everything
 you’ve ever secreted will come back!  You can neuter most 
of Skeletor with beans, and you can traipse like a tampon 
recycler through Iowa’s most cheeseless gnomeyard, but you
 can’t bathe pirates in Tucker Carlson’s nipples.  Hey!  
Don’t eat my Jews!



"R2D2 (Lives in my Butt)" -- Worm Quartet

[TUBE]Y8ZJD1yv0O4[/TUBE]

This song is rather brief, so the next on my listening list was:


"The Internet is a Big Warm Hug for the World" -- Worm Quartet

[TUBE]98W3uoYufeg[/TUBE]

Oh there's murder and corruption there's sorrow and there's anguish
There's torture and there's torment and there's news and there's news
There's business suits and bullies There's travesties and traffic There's
genocide and homelessness And plagues and corporate greed, and

(chorus)
FUUCK YOU! The bunny is eating a flower!
FUUCK YOU! The bunny is eating a flower!
FUUCK YOU! It's a goddamned flower! And the bunny is eating it! And it's cute as phucking shit! 

There's Fascists and there's fat cells There's hellfire and there's hailstorms
And evil men with evil minds Keep doing evil things There's trenchcoats
and tiaras There's crude oil and colonics There's STDs and Escargot and WMDs and

(chorus)
FUUCK YOU! The goose is doing a dance!
FUUCK YOU! The goose is doing a dance!
FUUCK YOU! Cuz it's eating some bread! And now it's doing a dance!
Sweet Jesus it's doing a dance!

The Internet wants to love you. The Internet wants to make it all better. The
Internet wants to hold you close. And caress your hair. And bite your fucking nipples. 

WHAT! There's bankers and there's borders There's conflicts and collisions There's
agony and effigies Despondancy and Deities There's bird flu and there's bomb
threats Reactions and recessions There's blasphemy and bigotry And tragedies
and hate and 

(chorus)
FUUCK YOU! The monkey is riding a pig!
FUUCK YOU! The monkey is riding a pig!
FUUCK YOU! Just look at the monkey! Really, look at the monkey!
I said look at the goddamned monkey!

FUUCK YOU! The pig is doing a goose!
FUUCK YOU! The dance is riding a flower!
FUUCK YOU! The monkey is eating a bunny!
The internet is a big warm hug for the WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD (continue)
WOOOORRLD!!!
FUUCK YOU! FUUCK YOU! FUUCK YOU! FUUCK YOU! FUUCK YOU!
FUUCK YOU! (fade out)








Zax from the computer demo, "Crystal Dream" by the pee-cee computer demo group, "Triton".

[TUBE]3W6zVP-tdGU[/TUBE]




"Young Blood" -- Raven (the NWOBHM group, not Raven Symoane or however the F you spell the douchnoozle's name)

[TUBE]yCGfGw0-7Rc[/TUBE]











"Trans-Europe Express" -- Kraftwerk

[TUBE]ma8IgxHcAoE[/TUBE]








"The Unforgiven II" -- Metallica

[TUBE]G-Bn_kD6QN4[/TUBE]




Zax from the Assembly '94 invitation dentro by Purple Motion of the pee-cee demo group, "Future Crew" from 1994.

[TUBE]apH4BxvV2oI[/TUBE]



"Bottom Line" -- Raven (the NWOBHM group, not Raven Symoane or however the F you spell the douchnoozle's name)

[TUBE]s6XZKlGnZus[/TUBE]


"In the Name of the Lord" -- Raven (the NWOBHM group, not Raven Symoane or however the F you spell the douchnoozle's name)

[TUBE]RUL_uL4W2Nw[/TUBE]

 
"What Your Parents Think All Your Music Sounds Like" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]mbrSwStrjgI[/TUBE]








"Athletic Rock" -- Raven (the NWOBHM group, not Raven Symoane or however the F you spell the douchnoozle's name)
  
[TUBE]-T0gSMopUJ0[/TUBE]


"Showroom Dummies" -- Kraftwerk
 
[TUBE]ZJ9Stc9ONyY[/TUBE]


"Screaming Down the House" -- Raven (the NWOBHM group, not Raven Symoan or however the F you spell the douche's name)
  
[TUBE]8QBqjwc1HGw[/TUBE]




 
 
"Pulp" -- a National Lampoon audio skit that was synthesised on a pee-cee
  
[TUBE]nTnez-IinH0[/TUBE]
 
 
"Pulp" -- this is the original audio skit from the National Lampoon album, "That's Not Funny, That's Sick" from 1977
  
[TUBE]TdnLsAOfT7o[/TUBE]
 






"The Unforgiven (parts 1, 2, and 3)" -- Metallica
  
[TUBE]673DwzEmBAY[/TUBE]







"Communicating with the mothership" -- music from the 1977 movie, "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"
  
[TUBE]S4PYI6TzqYk[/TUBE]
 
 
"Faget" -- Korn
 
[TUBE]_T6nUXoGapM[/TUBE]


"Trapped Under Ice" -- Metallica
 
[TUBE]455-CIgc7co[/TUBE]


 


"In the Evening" -- Led Zeppelin
 
[TUBE]b-2M88i_yDg[/TUBE]


Zax from the computer demo, "Panic" by the pee-cee demo group, "Future Crew" from 1992.
 
[TUBE]dh6N3QylX0s[/TUBE]





"Earth on H-E-Double-Tippy-Straws" -- Anthrax
 
[TUBE]KSNErUJAYlg[/TUBE]


"Overdrive" -- Karl Bartos
 
[TUBE]Z2lwmMi8nrc[/TUBE]



"2 Minutes to Midnight" -- Iron Maiden
  
[TUBE]7sXPmz9b4lM[/TUBE]



"Isolation" -- Alter Bridge
  
[TUBE]9S9D5RRwQ8g[/TUBE]


"Knock Three Times" -- Tony Orlando and Don
  
[TUBE]emvVDC1-bwI[/TUBE]



"Recursively Anatomically Correct" -- Worm Quartet
  
[TUBE]iyEp4LZrtsI[/TUBE]
 
This song is rather brief, so the next on my listening list was:
 
 
"Ice Cream Has No Bones" -- Worm Quartet
  
[TUBE]bwSjUm1m_m8[/TUBE]
 
Exile the sausage police.
Noodle magnet? 
Carpet salmon? 
Internal yodeling? 
Only the dissection of erotic produce can make Ed care about the multi-antlered lunchbox crisis. 
Hey! My prostitute is evaporating! 
Styrofoam anti-monkeys slide porklessly barnward. 
Stop baptizing my toast! 
I am the dental hat of corn and rage. 
Why aren't you cake? 
The crippled octagon merchants are tired of flossing Brazil. 
Marinate your pain! 
Quality sucks! 
Justify your kitten-swallowing trophy. 
Fire comes from firemen. 
What you call a sweater I call Satan's nipples! 
Kid Rock's gynecologist autographed this squirrel. 
According to this road atlas, you suck! 
Help! Geometry is on fire! 
Fish can breathe underwater but I can breathe owls. 
Why is this strudel behaving? 
My computer is full of meat. 
Hey, nature! Shut up! 
Is France dishwasher-safe? 
Frolic immediately or I will fuucking kill you. 
Flamboyant potato impersonators. 
Tribe? 
Tribe? 
Those who sit on liver are 17 times more likely to staple ponies together than those who shave bricks. 
Behold the semen queen and her ever-vomiting spork of tomfoolery! 
Soiled pleasantries? 
Incontinent bookends? 
Stop having sex with that fotomat! 
Arrest those chiclets! 
Why do adverbs smell like lettuce? 
I'm pickling this accursed crowbar! 
Scarf? 
Clams? 
Weasel mucous for the Bisquick God? 
Get away from my penus with that pricing gun! 
A battery-powered carrot saved is a battery-powered carrot earned.
 
 


"Smooth" -- Santana
 
[TUBE]QcUxrpIwuQ4[/TUBE]



 


"Crawl" -- Anthrax
 
[TUBE]T0kSwZavnB4[/TUBE]


Zax from the computer demo, "Act 1" by the pee-cee demo group, "Psychic Link".
 
[TUBE]fPt71iZyQb0[/TUBE]



"Loop-de-Loop" -- from the SpongeBob SquarePants episode, "Your Shoe's Untied"
 
[TUBE]yIBjiF58IWs[/TUBE]





"Powerslave" -- Iron Maiden
 
[TUBE]QyLVLw7OH44[/TUBE]





"Teenage Dirtbag" -- Wheatus
 
[TUBE]TnawZWS-JWo[/TUBE]


Stage zax from the coin-op arcade videogame, "Roadblasters" put out by Atari in 1987
 
[TUBE]RMqnRlS1Bhk[/TUBE]
 


 
"Atomium" -- Karl Bartos
 
[TUBE]byYl3erK3cc[/TUBE]


"Franz Schubert" -- Kraftwerk
 
[TUBE]QQhza6uo92Y[/TUBE]


"Hall of Mirrors" -- Kraftwerk
 
[TUBE]a15yqZ1uL9A[/TUBE]


"Bare" -- Anthrax
 
[TUBE]8-31zd-Pc00[/TUBE]


"Fueled" -- Anthrax
 
[TUBE]cMzWeV4Xf9A[/TUBE]


"Tester" -- Anthrax
 
[TUBE]bHdNVMWZP6A[/TUBE]




 
"Gary Come Home" -- from the SpongeBob SquarePants episode, "Have You Seen this Snail?"

[TUBE]LYfa3p4oaak[/TUBE]









 






"W.C.F.Y.A." -- Anthrax
 
[TUBE]ZX1XmkvDOKg[/TUBE]




"Safe Home" -- Anthrax
 
[TUBE]MMRgrZYzg4A[/TUBE]


"Cadillac Rock Box" -- Anthrax
 
[TUBE]WaLrt9ixg0s[/TUBE]




"Drive That Caddilac" {note sp. of Cadillac} -- Psychic Pissbrain
 
[TUBE]_83JtBiShmY[/TUBE]



"In My Baby Dollars Mind" -- Psychic Pissbrain
 
[TUBE]gmy0wSD6aL0[/TUBE]
 
For reasons still unknown, my Ipod reports this song as, "What'Wrong with the Uranator" by, "Psychotectic Potty Brain".
I submit to thee some proof, in Windows .WAV format:
http://ledmuseum.candlepower.us/45/wwwtuppb.wav



 
"Monkey On Your Back" -- Aldo Nova
 
[TUBE]yP7hF3Tt6Js[/TUBE]
This song is about becoming addicted to heroine; however I do not use this or any other 'needle' drugs. 




Zax from the MS-DOS computer demo, "Stars -- Wonders of the World" by the pee-cee demo group, "Nooon" from 1995.
 
[TUBE]W1SnN4mjoFM[/TUBE]







[TUBE]nrd9Y-PP0s0[/TUBE]

Zax from the Commodore Amiga computer demo, "Software Make the Dance Foam Oil" by the Commodore Amiga computer demo group, "Ephidrena" with Kvasigen and Rave Network Overscan


Unknown track (live performance) by Cat Piss Brain Rot
 
[TUBE]UgP7-cZwxQc[/TUBE]
 
I disn't listen to the entire song, so the first song that I listened to in whole today was:
 
[TUBE]3LuaF1MMZl4[/TUBE]

Zax from the Commodore Amiga computer demo, "Hardwired" by the Amiga computer demo group, "Crionics and the Silents".


"This Fire Burns" -- Killswitch Engage
 
[TUBE]BVOpkKez1tQ[/TUBE]


"The Hall of Mirrors" -- Kraftwerk
 
[TUBE]XQ6RgPeT4vU[/TUBE]



"Invisible" -- Anthrax
 
[TUBE]nyq4pukhq9c[/TUBE]



"I'm the Man '91" -- Anthrax
 
[TUBE]aJIvtjbcfWQ[/TUBE]



[TUBE]3LuaF1MMZl4[/TUBE]

Zax from the Commodore Amiga computer demo, "Hardwired" by the Amiga computer demo group, "Crionics and the Silents".




Zax from the coin-op arcade pinball machine, "F-14 Tomcat" by Williams Electronics from 1987.
 
[TUBE]VAP0ECxZnE4[/TUBE]


Zax from the coin-op arcade pinball machine, "The Getaway -- High Speed II" by Williams Electronics.
 
[TUBE]oD10ZVlup0I[/TUBE]




"The Dickhead Song" -- Miles Betterman
 
[TUBE]my7sxZ0KfHU[/TUBE]



"Cyberspace" -- Karl Bartos
 
[TUBE]07r5y9DpiRQ[/TUBE]







"Harm's Way" -- Anthrax
 
[TUBE]fPt71iZyQb0[/TUBE]



Zax from the computer demo, "Act 1" by the pee-cee computer demo group, "Psychic Link".
 
[TUBE]ki8cJ7yRYA8[/TUBE]
 

"The I-95 Asshole Song" -- August Campbell
 
[TUBE]wHZGG7udfrw[/TUBE]



Zax from the computer demo, "Second Reality" aka. "Unreal ][" by the pee-cee demo group, "Future Crew" from 1993.
 
[TUBE]KTjnt_WSJu8[/TUBE]
The demo itself is very cool to watch, so you'll want to both watch & listen. :-)
This is the same music that I started off yesterday with; the part starting at ~9:07 is the zax I like the most today.


Zax from the computer demo, "Unreal" by the pee-cee demo group, "Future Crew" from 1992.
 
[TUBE]3uOK8eenhbE[/TUBE]



"You Were Wrong Cabinet Sanchez" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]4DGLEeLOyj8[/TUBE]



"The Laundromat of Sin (Evil Underwear Mix by Soggy Potato Chips)" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]4DGLEeLOyj8[/TUBE]



"The Laundromat of Sin" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]A7WMBZtHHC0[/TUBE]



Zax from the loader, crack, and trainer from the Commodore 64 computer video game, "Dominator++" from the late-1980s.
 
[TUBE]yDD5VSPCuxAc[/TUBE]
 
When I wasn't listening to the zax from the C=64 computer video game Wasteland (which I used to listen to in the mornings when I had the day shift tending bar at the now-defunct Six Eleven Tavern -- before my coffeepot finished perking) I used to listen to this as it helped to get my ass awake.








 
 

"Sounds Alien" -- Brian Eno & Rick Holland
 
[TUBE]mrq0T6nELKA[/TUBE]
 



"Expo 2000 Kling Klang Mix 2002" -- Krafterk
 
[TUBE]ASXqMvpuz4U[/TUBE]



"The Whale" -- ELO
 
[TUBE]3h7sA83BOZM[/TUBE]



"Mr. Blue Sky" -- ELO
 
[TUBE]bjPqsDU0j2I[/TUBE]



"Call Me Jennifer and Steal My Stapler" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]B3pF8TD9YOM[/TUBE]


"Triks" -- Worm Quartet
 
[TUBE]A-r0m9iyg_k[/TUBE]