200mW RED "DILDA" PORTABLE LASER
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You have no chance to survive make your time.
(In reference to the small package I received from DealExtreme around 2:02pm PDT on 03-19-08):
{sung like the Foreigner song "Feels Like the First Time"}
This is a high-powered portable laser that operates from two CR2 lithium cells. It is nicknamed "The Dilda" on many websites because its distinctive dildo-shaped body. It generates a red beam (measured spectrographically at 662nm) with enough power to burn, destroy, and leave wrinkles everywh...o wait!!! wrong infomercial!!! , and it has a low enough current consumption that you won't be running to the store for batteries every day or two.
The optical power output is advertised at 200mW; though I do not have an instrument that can measure power levels this high (See below -- I do now as of 07-07-11!!!), it produces effects consistent with a high-powered laser: it destroys balloons rather quickly, ignites tobacco, causes smoke to issue from a mousepad, burns the black sides of the vanes in a Crooke's radiometer, causes a tactile heat sensation on exposed flesh, etc.
SIZE
Feed the laser two new CR2 lithium cells first (see directly below), and THEN you can go hose something down with it.
Press the button on the tailcap until it clicks to turn the laser on; repeat the same action to turn it back off.
This is continuous or hands-free mode.
Press the same button more lightly (before it clicks) and hold it that way for as long as you need the intense red spot, and release it to turn the laser off.
This is momentary or signalling mode.
The beam divergence (focus) is adjustable simply by turning the bezel (the domed end of the laser) one way or the other.
Counterclockwise brings the focal point closer; clockwise moves the focal point farther away.
To change the batteries in your 200mW red portable laser, unscrew and remove the tailcap, gently place it on the ground, and kick it into the garden so the hungry, hungry praying mantids will think it's something yummy to eat and subsequently strike at it...O WAIT!!! YOU'LL NEED THAT!!! So just set it aside instead.
Tip the two used CR2 lithium cells out of the barrel and into your hand, and dispose of or recycle them as you see fit.
Insert two new CR2 lithium cells into the barrel, button-end (+) positive first. This is the opposite of how batteries are installed in most other laser pointers/portable lasers, so please pay attention to polarity here.
Screw the tailcap back on, and be done with it.
Aren't you glad you didn't kick that tailcap into the garden with all those hungry, hungry praying mantids now?
Here is what a praying mantis looks like.
I found this guy on the morning of 09-08-06 clinging to the basket of my scooter.
Current usage measures 280mA on my DMM's 4A scale.
This is a portable laser, not a flashlight. So I won't throw it against the wall, stomp on it, try to drown it in the toylet bowl or the cistern, run over it, swing it against the concrete floor of a patio, bash it open to check it for candiosity, fire it from the cannoņata (I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piņata" too much again - candiosity is usually checked with a scanner-type device on a platform with a large readout, with a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or with a pack-of-cards-sized device that Fergy Fudgehog uses; and the cannoņata is only used to shoot piņatas to piņata parties away from picturesque Piņata Island), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analysis, or inflict other punishments upon it that I might administer to a flashlight. Therefore, this section of the laser's web page will seem a bit more bare than this section of the web page on a page about a flashlight.
This is a directly-injected laser though, who's active components are the laser diode and the collimating lens. So it should withstand accidents better than a DPSS (diode pumped solid state) laser - the type of laser assembly found in yellow (593.5nm), green (532nm) and blue (473nm) laser pointers & portable lasers (handheld or laboratory). These lasers have several additional components (crystals, filters, etc.) in the optical train, and you can knock them out of alignment by doing little more than looking at them the wrong way. And if any of these components are knocked out of whack, you'll no longer get your yellow, green, or blue laser beam.
***EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!!***
This laser is a CDRH Class IIIb instrument because of its high output power; so you definitely do not want to shine it into your eyes, other people's eyes, pets' eyes, for that matter, the eyes of any person or animal you encounter. Eye damage can occur faster than the blink reflex can protect them, regardless of what species' eyes you irradiate with this laser. So just don't do it.
And fer chrissakes (and for heaven sakes and for Pete sakes and your sakes too) do not shine this laser at any vehicle, whether ground-based like a motorcycle, car, or truck, or air-based like a helicopter, airplane, or jet. And if you shoot it at a person in the dark and he turns out to be a police officer, he may think he's being targeted, unholster (pull out) his gun, and hose you down with it.
The collimating assembly feels loose, despite the presence of a spring between the laser diode assembly and the collimator assembly.
The collimating assembly goes out of your preferred setting through just casual handling; to hold it in your preferred position, you may use a small piece of tape.
There is a spring between the collimating assembly and the laser's barrel; please be careful not to lose it if you unscrew the collimator so much that you remove it. If the collimating assembly is intentionally removed, please be certain to place the spring where it will not become lost or go up the "vaccuummnne" (vacum, vaccum, vacume, vaccumn, vaccume, vacuum, etc.) cleaner so you'll have it handy when you reassemble the laser later on.
I tried to cut through this laser's barrel with the blade of a Gerber folding knife, and I was rather easily able to.
This tells me that the laser probably has a baked enamel finish to it.
Would I really try to chop up a brand spanken new laser I paid perfectly good money for?
You bet your sweet patootie (sugar-coated toliet muscle) I would, if it's in the name of science.
Beam photograph (collimated) on the test target at 12".
The spiking you see is a camera artifact; the beam has a very clean appearance to it in reality.
Beam image also bloomed *SIGNIFICANTLY*.
The white & yellow color you see was also caused by the camera.
Power output is significantly too high to measure with the instruments at my disposal
(See below; this has been rectified as of 07-07-11!!!).
Beam photograph (collimating ass'y removed) on the test target at 12".
Beam photograph on a wall at ~10 feet.
The spiking you see is a camera artifact; the beam has a very clean appearance to it in reality.
Beam image also bloomed *SIGNIFICANTLY*.
The white color you see was also caused by the camera.
Those rectangular graphic things in the upper left quadrant of this photograph are marquees from:
upright coin-op arcade video games from the 1980s.
That graphic toward the right is:
A "BIG SCARY LASER" poster sent by www.megagreen.co.uk
Below the "Big Scary Laser" poster is a calendar my sister gave me.
And that clock to the right of the "Big Scary Laser" poster is an Infinity Optics Clock.
Photograph of the laser spot at ~200 feet.
That diagonal "spike" you see is a camera artifact, and does not actually exist in the laser's beam.
Photograph was taken at 4:31am PDT 03-24-08.
There was a bush between the laser and the target; that's why you see some red glow there as well.
4x zoom was used for this photograph.
Another photograph of the laser spot at ~200 feet.
That diagonal "spike" you see is a camera artifact, and does not actually exist in the laser's beam.
Photograph was taken at 5:41am PDT 03-24-08.
4x zoom was used for this photograph.
Photograph of the CDRH label.
This appears to be a rather generic label; there were pen marks checked in the most appropriate boxes,
but the markings wore off before I could photograph them.
Photograph of one side of the driver circuit board.
Photograph of the other side of the driver circuit board.
Spectrographic analysis of this laser.
Spectrographic analysis of this laser; spectrometer's response narrowed to a range of 650nm to 670nm.
Peak wavelength appears to be 661.5nm, with a spectral line halfwidth of ~1.5nm.
Spectrographic analysis of this laser (newer equipment & software used); spectrometer's response narrowed to a range of 650nm to 670nm.
Peak wavelength appears to be 662.55nm, with a spectral line halfwidth of ~2.2nm.
Spectrographic analysis of this laser; below lasing threshold.
Spectrographic analysis of this laser to check for wavelength drift following the "balls to the wall" stability analysis; spectrometer's response narrowed to a range of 650nm to 670nm.
Peak wavelength appears to be 659.352nm, with a spectral line halfwidth of ~2.80nm.
Spectrographic analysis of this laser; newest (01-13-13) spectrometer software settings used.
Spectrographic analysis of this laser; newest (01-13-13) spectrometer software settings used. Spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 655nm and 665nm to pinpoint wavelength, which is 661.640nm.
Second measurement: measures 207mW on the same meter.
Third measurement: measures 213mW on the same meter.
A fourth measuerment: measures 206mW on the same meter.
Stability analysis cum battery discharge analysis run using a pair of RCR2 cells from my LZIR808-200 808nm Infrared Invisible Burning Portable Laser.
Runs for 2,306 seconds (38.4 minutes) to 50% power output.
Laser temperature (case temperature measured where the laser diode is) was measured at 105°F (40.55°C) when this analysis was 1,285 seconds in.
WMP movie (.avi extension) showing the product burning a mousepad.
This clip is approximately 1.88 megabytes (1,980,916 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than seven minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.
An episode of "The Fairly OddParents" was playing on the boob tube when this recording was made.
This product is not sound-sensitive; the sound may be ignored or muted if desired.
This video on YourTube shows this laser causing a balloon to "destruct".
This clip is approximately 0.60 megabytes (617,234 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than two and a half minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.
An episode of "The Fairly OddParents" was playing on the boob tube when this recording was made.
You should also hear the sound of the explosive decompression of the balloon.
This product is not sound-sensitive; the sound may be ignored or muted if desired.
Video of the 200mW Red "Dilda" Portable Laser destroying a purple balloon.
I cannot provide these videos in other formats, so please do not ask.
TEST NOTES:
Test unit was purchased on the DealExtreme website on 03-07-08, and was received on the afternoon of 03-19-08.
UPDATE: 04-11-08
With just one CR2 cell installed, current usage measures 45mA and the unit appears to be rather dim - right at lasing threshold or perhaps just below.
Open-circuit voltage of the CR2 cell was 3.022 volts.
This tells me that the product probably isn't regulated, but that it *DOES* have a driver circuit in it.
UPDATE: 07-11-11
I learned from somebody over at Laser Pointer Forums that by applying teflon tape (most commonly found in the plumbing supplies part of a hardware store) to the threads that the collimating assembly screws onto, the collimating ass'y itself will fit much more snugly and the focus setting you give it won't be nearly as readily lost through casual handling as it was before using the tape.
UPDATE: 09-27-13
I went to perform repeat spectroscopy of it and get the raw spectrometer data file, but found that this laser was deader than a doorknob. I verified voltage and continuity at the tailcap, and even bypassed its tailcap power switch with a piece of kitchen aluminum (or, "aluminium") foil, and no lasing occurred.
Therefore, I have no choise but to append the always-dreadful, "" to its listings on this website to denote the fact that the product has failed and no additional testing, comparisons, or analyses can be performed on it.
UPDATE: 11-15-13
There was nothing wrong with the laser; turns out that some dummy {points to self} had installed the batteries backward.
I'm always harping about getting the battery polarity correct in portable lasers, and I'm the one that installed the batteries incorrectly.
PROS:
Exceptionally brilliant red laser beam
Beam focus is easily adjustable
Reasonably durable metal body
CONS:
Beam focus is perhaps...TOO EASILY adjustable
Uses batteries that may be expensive and/or difficult to find
MANUFACTURER: Unknown/not stated
PRODUCT TYPE: Red-emitting portable laser
LAMP TYPE: Directly-injected red diode laser
No. OF LAMPS: 1
BEAM TYPE: Adjustable collimator; varies between pinpoint spot to medium spot w/sharp perimeter
SWITCH TYPE: Pushbutton on/momentary/off on tailcap
CASE MATERIAL: Metal
BEZEL: Metal; laser diode protected by a lens
BATTERY: 2xCR2 cells
CURRENT CONSUMPTION: 280mA
WATER- AND PEE-RESISTANT: Very light splatter-resistant at maximum
SUBMERSIBLE: NO WAY, HOZAY!
ACCESSORIES: None
SIZE: 5.05" (128.0mm) L, 0.65" (17.0mm) D
WEIGHT: 2.7oz (76.545g)
WARRANTY: 30 days
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SIZE
Eye damage can occur faster than the blink reflex can protect them, regardless of what species' eyes you irradiate with this laser. So just don't do it. 
" to its listings on this website to denote the fact that the product has failed and no additional testing, comparisons, or analyses can be performed on it.
