CORDLESS ANYWHERE LAMP

Cordless Anywhere Lamp, retail $39.98 (www.taylorgifts.com...)
Manufactured by Sierra Electric (URL not known)
Last updated 05-17-08




This is a floor-standing, adjustable reading lamp; designed to be placed next to your favourite chair for reading, but with a twist: instead of having a hot incandescent light bulb and a cord that could be tripped over, it uses sixteen white LEDs and is totally self-contained (it uses six AA cells).

It features a weighted base, and it has a flexible metal gooseneck so that the light can be directed (aimed) pretty much anywhere you need it.


SIZE



To use this lamp, assemble it first (see directly below) and feed it six AA cells (see even farther below), and THEN you can go read that novel you've been putting off for so long.

Start by removing all of the parts from the box & packaging materials.
You should find:

1: Illuminator head & battery box.
2: Two poles that can screw into one another and onto the base & illuminator head.
3: Weighted base with a threaded hole in the center.

Assemble the lamp as follows:

1: Place the base on the floor, and screw one of the poles into it.
2: Screw the second pole into the one you already affixed to the base.
3: Screw the illuminator head/battery box into the top of the upper pole.

To turn the lamp on, press & release the black pushbutton switch on the back of the battery box.
Do the same thing to turn it off.

The illuminator head is mounted to a metal gooseneck; this allows you to direct (aim) the light pretty much anywhere you need it.



On the underside (inside surface, as the lamp is assembled and is facing you) of the large section of the lamp under the illuminator head (connected by a metal gooseneck), you'll find a battery door. On one end of this door, you'll see a clip. Press in on this clip, lift the door away, gently place it on the floor, and kick it down the stairs so that the piss ants will think it's something yummy for their insect tummies, drag it to their nest, then find it unpalatable so they just squat over it and pee on it...O WAIT!!! YOU'LL NEED THAT!!! So just set it aside instead.

Remove the six used AA cells from the battery compartment, and dispose of or recycle them as you see fit.

Insert six new AA cells into the compartment, orienting them so that their flat ends (-) negatives face the springs for them in each chamber.

Place the battery door back on, and be done with it.
Aren't you glad you didn't kick that battery door down the stairs with all those piss ants with full bladders now?




Photograph of the underside of the head assembly.

The Cordless Anywhere Lamp is designed to be used as a reading lamp in a dry area and not {vulgar term for having had intercourse} with too often, not a flashlight meant to be thrashed, trashed, and abused. So I won't throw it against the wall, stomp on it, try to drown it in the {vulgar term for feces}bowl or the cistern, run over it, swing it against the concrete floor of a patio, use a large claw hammer to bash it open in order to check it for candiosity, fire it from the cannonada (I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piņata" too much again - candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piņata Central), a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or a pack-of-cards-sized instrument that Fergy Fudgehog uses; and the cannonada (also located at Piņata Central) is only used to shoot piņatas to piņata parties away from picturesque Piņata Island), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analysis, or inflict upon it punishments that a flashlight may have inflicted upon it.

So this section of the Cordless Anywhere Lamp's web page may appear more bare than this section of the web page on a web page about a flashlight that was born to be a flashlight and nothing but a flashlight.

It does appear to be at least reasonably durable; you'd really have to open up a can of Whoop Ass on it to cause any significant damage to it. Repeatedly kicking it over might do the trick though.




Beam photograph on the test target at 12".
That bluish color you see does really exist, but it was exaggerated slightly in this photograph.
Measures 83,700mcd on a Meterman LM631 light meter.



Beam photograph on a wall at ~10 feet.
That bluish color you see does really exist, but it was significantly exaggerated in this photograph.

Those rectangular graphic things in the upper left quadrant of this photograph are marquees from:

Atari ''Tempest''
Nintendo ''R-Type''
Super Tiger...er...uh...Konami ''Super Cobra''
Midway ''Omega Race''
Sega ''Star Trek''
Williams ''Joust''
Venture Line ''Looping''
Universal ''Mr. Do!'s Castle''
Jaleco ''Exerion''
Gremlin/Sega ''Astro Blaster''
Gottlieb ''Q*bert''

upright coin-op arcade video games from the 1980s.

That graphic toward the right is:
A "BIG SCARY LASER" poster sent by www.megagreen.co.uk

Below the "Big Scary Laser" poster is a calendar my sister gave me.

That clock to the right of the "Big Scary Laser" poster is an Infinity Optics Clock.

And those faint green spots are from a Laser Stars unit.


Spectrographic plot
Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this light.
USB2000 spectrometer graciously donated by P.L.



A beam cross-sectional analysis would normally appear here, but the equipment necessary for that test
has been packed away for a move tentatively scheduled to take place been June 01 and June 10 2008.





TEST NOTES:
Test unit was purchased on the Taylor Gifts website on 05-06-08, and was received on the afternoon of 05-16-08.

Product was made in China.
A product's country of origin really does matter to some people, which is why I published it on this web page.


UPDATE: 00-00-00



PROS:



CONS:



    MANUFACTURER: Sierra Electric
    PRODUCT TYPE: Self-contained LED floor (reading) lamp
    LAMP TYPE: 5mm white LED
    No. OF LAMPS: 16
    BEAM TYPE: Medium spot w/wide corona
    SWITCH TYPE: Pushbutton on/off on battery holder
    CASE MATERIAL: Plastic & metal
    BEZEL: Plastic; LEDs protected by large flat plastic window
    BATTERY: 6xAA cells
    CURRENT CONSUMPTION:
    WATER RESISTANT: Light splatter-resistant at maximum
    SUBMERSIBLE: No
    ACCESSORIES: None
    WARRANTY: Unknown/not stated

    PRODUCT RATING:

    Star Rating





Cordless Anywhere Lamp * www.taylorgifts.com...






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