A fucking toilet brush
Since you've obviously never cleaned a fucking toilet, you'll need to go
to the store and buy one of these. This is called a fucking toilet brush.

Start off by squirting a lot of fucking toilet bowl cleaner in the bowl. Be sure to get
the nozzle under the rim, or it doesn't count. Swab it around the fucking toilet with the
fucking toilet brush. If you have time, go have a beer and let it sit for 10 to 15 minutes.

Now, start scrubbing that shit like a fucking madman.
Be sure to scrub the top and inside edge of the rim to get all that fucking piss and vomit cleaned off. Get that brush as far into the space between the shitbowl and seat as you can. We'll deal with the rest of the crap on & behind the seat later. This fucking toilet has rust stains in it, and ordinary fucking toilet bowl cleaner isn't going to take it off. You'll need to go to your neighborhood grocery or drug store and buy a big bottle of highly corrosive hydrofluoric acid. It is called fucking Whink. You can buy fucking Whink in almost any fucking grocery store for about two fucking dollars. Look for fucking Whink in the fucking aisle with the fucking laundry soap and the fucking bleach.

Fucking flush the fucking toilet a couple of times and rinse the fucking toilet brush in the swirling water. Bang the fucking toilet brush against the side of the fucking toilet, and put it away for the time being.

Next: Cleaning under & behind the fucking toilet seat,
and cleaning the outside of the fucking toilet.