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SHOULDER-MOUNTED
LED LIGHTS

Shoulder-Mounted LED Lights, retail $8.00 (www.biglots.com*)
Manufactured by Unkown for H.O.M. Corp. (URL furnished is no good)
Last updated 06-03-09

The Shoulder-Mounted LED Lights are a direct replacement for a traditional headlamp; instead of being attached to your head with one or more elastic (stretchy) straps, this product simply rests on your shoulders.

It has two illuminator heads, each with its own switch and batteries.

Each illuminator head can be swivelled on both its X and Y axes (horizontally and vertically), thus helping ensure that you can direct (aim) light exactly where you need it. And each illuminator can be disengaged from the neck loop to be used as a stand-alone flashlight if necessary.

It is constructed almost entirely of plastic, and each illuminator head requires 2 CR2032 lithium coin cells for power - these batteries are included and already installed.

* Not found on the Big Lots website; so this URL simply leads to their front door.

Size of product w/hand to show scale

SIZE

The Shoulder-Mounted LED Lights come ready to use right out of the package.

To put the product on, just loop the large neck "harness" around the back of your neck so that each illuminator head is positioned under the sides of your head, just in front of your shoulders.

Now, to turn the lights on, there is a slide switch on the outer-facing surface of each illuminator. Slide this switch forward (toward the LED) to turn it on.

Slide the same switch back (away from the LED) to turn the illuminator off.

Each illuminator head is on a swivel; it can be spun around throughout the entire 360° range to direct the light in the Y-axis (vertically). The mounting head can be rotated about the X-axis (horizontally), also throughout the entire 360° range.

According to the packaging materials, each illuminator head can also be disengaged from the unicomplex...er...uh...NECK HARNESS for use as a traditional flashlight if necessary, though I have not yet figured out how to accomplish this.

(Edit 06-03-09)
To disengage one of the illuminators, press & hold in that red button near the end of the neck harness, and pull the illuminator assembly straight off.

Simply push it straight back on until it clicks into place when you want it back on the neck harness.

I have not yet figured out how to change the batteries in this product (there is no furnished instructional material), so this section of the page will remain blank for the forseeable future.

I know you'll need a small phillips screwdriver; a large size 0 or small size 1 should be sufficient here.

(Edit 06-03-09)
I figured it out now.
I figured out how to change the batteries!
I figured out Blue Clues!!!

On the inside of the mount (not far from the red thing), there is a phillips screw. Remove it with a large size 0 or small size 1 phillips screwdriver, carefully toss the screw to the opposing pitcher at a Seattle Mariners game, allow him to pitch it to the Mariners batter currently at the plate, and let the batter smack it out of the park with the basses loaded so that Mariners play-by-play announcer Dave Niehaus exclaims "Get out the rye bread and mustard grandma!!! It is grand salami time!!!"* O WAIT!!! YOU'LL NEED THAT!!! So just set it aside instead.

Remove the back section of the mounting device, and set that aside too.

Remove the two used CR2032 cells from the chamber, and dispose of or recycle them as you see fit.

Insert two new CR2032 lithium coin cells into this chamber, orienting them both so that their button-ends (-) negatives face down.

Place the back piece on, and insert & gently tighten that screw.
Aren't you glad you didn't let a Mariners player hit that screw out of the park now?

You'll need to perform the same procedure with the other illuminator head too, so don't put that screwdriver away just yet.

To make this procedure a little easier, you may disengage each illuminator head from the shoulder harness, so that things look like this:

This photograph shows one of the illuminator heads disengaged from the neck harness.

The Shoulder-Mounted LED Lights is designed to be used as alternative to a head-mounted headlamp, not used as a super sturdy "barrel-style" flashlight in a metal body that won't mind you abusing it. So I won't throw it against the wall, stomp on it, try to drown it in the {vulgar term for feces}bowl or the cistern, run over it, swing it against the concrete floor of a front porch, use a medium claw hammer to bash it open in order to check it for candiosity, fire it from the cannoñata (I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piñata" too much again

- candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piñata Central), a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or a pack-of-cards-sized instrument that Fergy Fudgehog uses; and the cannoñata (also located at Piñata Central) is only used to shoot piñatas to piñata parties away from picturesque Piñata Island), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analysis, shoot it into a quantum filament*, or inflict upon it punishments that a flashlight in a metal or sturdier plastic body may have inflicted upon it.

The Shoulder-Mounted LED Lights unit is not very water-resistant.
If it fell in water and you suspect it got flooded, disassemble it as you would to change the batteries in both illuminator units, dump out the water if necessary, and set the parts in a warm dry place for a day or so just to be sure it's completely dry inside before you reassemble & use it again.

If it fell into seawater, got thrown into a glass of milk, if it fell in a root beer float, if it fell into a bowl of "soft-serv" ice cream, if somebody squirted a Massengill brand post-menstrual disposable douche or a Fleet brand disposable enema at it (and hit it with the douche or the enema), or if somebody or something got "pist off" at it and subsequently "pyst"

on it, rinse the parts out with fresh water before setting them out to dry. You don't want your Shoulder-Mounted LED Lights to smell like seaweed, sour milk, flowers, fresh butts, or rotten pee when you go to use it next. Besides, salt (from seawater, disposable douches, disposable enemas, or uranation), lactic acid (from moo juice), glycerol (from antifreeze), or sugar (from root beer & ice cream) can't be very good for the insides.

Beam photograph on the test target at 12".
Measures 42,400mcd on a Meterman LM631 (now Amprobe LM631A) light meter.

Beam photograph on a wall at ~10 feet.

Those colored graphics toward the left are my "Viva Piñata" posters, and that clock on the right that looks like a gigantic wristwatch is my Infinity Optics Clock.
You may also be able to see two of my SpongeBob SquarePants plush (Squidward Tentacles & Patrick Star) and a Digimon plush (Greymon)

Spectrographic plot

Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this light.
USB2000 spectrometer graciously donated by P.L.

ProMetric analysis

Beam cross-sectional analysis.
Image made using the ProMetric System by Radiant Imaging.

TEST NOTES:
Test unit was purchased at a Big Lots store in Federal Way WA. USA on 05-31-09.

Product was made in China.
A product's country of origin really does matter to some people, which is why I published it on this web page.

* In baseball, a "grand slam" is when a batter hits a home run with the bases loaded; this results in the score of the team currently batting to increase by four (4).
Mariners play-by-play announcer Dave Niehaus shouts the "Get out the rye bread..." line whenever a Mariner hits a grand slam.

* From the Star Trek: TNG episode "Disaster".

UPDATE: 00-00-00

PROS:
Viable...no, make that EXCELLENT alternative to headlamps
LEDs for longer battery life and no hassles with incandescent bubs

CONS:
Batteries it neess may be difficult to find and/or locally expensive (there goes ¼ star)
Tools needed for battery change (there also goes another ¼ star)
Not submersible or even very water-resistant (and there goes the other ½ star)

MANUFACTURER: Unknown
PRODUCT TYPE: Shoulder-mounted "headlight"-replacement light
LAMP TYPE: 5mm white LED
No. OF LAMPS: 2
BEAM TYPE: Narrow flood with soft corona
SWITCH TYPE: Slide on/off on each illuminator head
CASE MATERIAL: Plastic
BEZEL: Plastic; LEDs partially recessed into hosels for them
BATTERY: 4x CR2032 lithium coin cells (2 per light)
CURRENT CONSUMPTION: Unknown/unable to measure
WATER RESISTANT: Light splatter-resistance at maximum
SUBMERSIBLE: For Christ sakes NOOOOO!!!!!
ACCESSORIES: 4x CR2032 cells
WARRANTY: Unknown/not stated

PRODUCT RATING:

Shoulder-Mounted LED Lights *

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