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GIANT LED TABLE LAMP
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Somebody set up us the bomb.

Giant LED Table Lamp, retail $14.99 (www.thinkgeek.com...)
Manufactured by (Unknown) for ThumbsUp! World
Last updated 12-17-13

This is a color-changing LED table lamp which looks like a...cummon what else could it be? A kitty litterbox? A shower faucet? A garbage can? Cummon any guesses here?

If you still guessed, "a plastic cup",
¡¡¡UN ZOMBI DEJANDO CACA EN UN TAZÓN HIGIÉNICO, NOOOOO!!!

It's a gigantic LED you silly goose!!!

So it uses LEDs and looks like a big LED in a diffused (milky) body...but this lamp has a dirty little secret: It slowly changes colors -- cycling from red to orange to yellow to green to blue-green to blue to white...and many of those pesky "in-between" colors like orange and purple as well. And if it lands on a color you particularly like at the moment, you can "freeze" the lamp in that color so that you can enjoy it for awhile -- at least until the batteries give up the ghost.

The base of the lamp is plastic (with flexible metal legs that are designed to look like the leads on an actual real live LED), while the main body is a soft pliable rubber or rubberlike material. Inside is a matrix of at least nine high-powered (3 watt) RGB (Red/Green/Blue) LEDs, and it feeds from 3 AAA cells.

The monkeys at ThinkGeek were supposedly f**king around with something called an "embiggening ray", one of the embiggening particles struck a stray LED that had rolled under a fellow employee's desk, and ***THIS*** happened.

SIZE

Feed it first (see directly below), install the "legs" (also see below), and then you can light up that dark area near your computer.

On the underside of the lamp's LED-shaped body, you'll see a slide switch. Slide it to the left (as the battery compartment is below the switch) one "click" to the center position to have the lamp slowly cycle through thousands of hues & colors.

If you see a color that you like, slide the swich to the left some more until it "clicks" again -- the lamp will remain locked in that color until you f**k with the switch again or until the batteries crap out -- whichever comes first.

To neutralise the lamp, slide the switch all the way to the right.

The legs are flexible and you may bend them in any manner that you see fit (within reason of course). This allows you to affix this big gigantic LED to shelves, small-diameter upright posts, or other relatively thin surfaces.

To change the batteries in your Giant LED Table Lamp, turn it over and look for a hatch. Swing it up, remove it, throw it into the waste bin (wastepaperbasket) by your computer desk, dump the waste bin into the wheelie bin (wheeled outdoor garbage can) on garbage night, wait for the dustcart (garbage truck) to dump your wheelie bin and drive away...O WAIT!!! YOU'LL NEED THAT!!! So just set it aside instead.

Remove the three used AAA cells from the battery compartment, and dispose of or recycle them as you see fit.

Install three new AAA cells, orienting each one so that its flat-end (-) negative faces the spring for it in each chamber.

Finally, place the battery door back on.
Aren't you glad that you didn't throw the silly thing away so that the dustman (garbage man) would haul it to a landfill now?

To affix the legs, just screw them into the threaded openings for them on the base of the product. The legs are goosenecks, so you can flex & bend them any way that you desire -- within reason of course.

This is a decorative mood lamp intended to be used in a dry area indoors, not a flashlight meant to be thrashed, bashed, trashed, and abused. So I won't try to drown it in the toliet tank, bash it against a steel rod or against the concrete floor of a carport in effort to try and expose the bare Metalmarineangemon - er - the bare Metaltrailmon - um that's not it either...the bare Metalparrotmon...er...uh...wait a sec here...THE BARE METAL (guess I've been watching too much Digimon again!

- now I'm just making {vulgar term for feces} up!!!), let my mother's big dog's ghost, her kitties, my kitty or my sister's kitty cat piddle (uranate) on it, hose it down with my mother's gun, run over it with a 450lb Quickie Pulse 6 motorised wheelchair, stomp on it, use a small carpenter's hammer (claw hammer) in order to bash it open to check it for candiosity, fire it from the cannoñata, drop it down the top of Mt. Erupto (now I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piñata" too much again

- candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piñata Central {aka. "Party Central"}), with a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or with a pack-of-cards-sized device that Fergy Fudgehog uses; the cannoñata (also located at Piñata Central) is only used to shoot piñatas to piñata parties away from picturesque Piñata Island, and Mt. Erupto is an active volcano on Piñata Island), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analyses, or perform other indecencies on it that a flashlight might have to have performed on it. Therefore, this section of the Giant LED Table Lamp's web page will seem a bit more bare than this section of the web page on a page about a flashlight.

It is considerably brighter than I expected from a product that uses those tiny piddling AAA cells.

The lamp's hollow body is made from a soft rubber or a rubberlike material, so if the lamp falls or gets nocked over, it isn't going to explode into hundreds of sharp little bits that would be bad for the vacuum cleaner, your feet, or pets' paws.

Photograph of the product, illuminurinated...er...uh...ILLUMINATED

of course.

Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this lamp (red).

Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this lamp (red); spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 625nm and 635nm to pinpoint peak wavelength, which is 629.340nm.

The raw spectrometer data (tab-delimited that can be loaded into Excel) is at http://ledmuseum.candlepower.us/44/ledl-r.txt

Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this lamp (green).

Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this lamp (green); spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 512nm and 522nm to pinpoint peak wavelength, which is 516.4900nm.

The raw spectrometer data (tab-delimited that can be loaded into Excel) is at http://ledmuseum.candlepower.us/44/ledl-g.txt

Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this lamp (blue).

Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this lamp (blue); spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 460nm and 470nm to pinpoint peak wavelength, which is 465.960nm.

The raw spectrometer data (tab-delimited that can be loaded into Excel) is at http://ledmuseum.candlepower.us/44/ledl-b.txt

Those "humps" that appear in all of the broadband (normal) spectrographic analyses are from other color LED dice (light-emitting chips) that were on at a low level, and could not be avoided.

Spectrographic analysis of the LEDs in this lamp (all on).

USB2000 Spectrometer graciously donated by P.L.

Video on YourTube showing this lamp in operation.

On the computer, you can see the Star Trek LCARS (Library Computer Access and Retrieval System) background. It is fully interactive; e.g., most of the buttons actually do something.

In this video, the lamp appears to emit a white light most of the time; in reality the colors are much more vivid and saturated!

This video is approximately 490.1663243581 megabytes (490,844,364 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than two thousand four hundred fifty (!) minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.
This video is definitely ***NOT*** dial-up friendly!!!

Video on YourTube showing the Giant LED Table Lamp in operation.

I held the camera very close to the product in an attempt to more accurately capture this lamp's color phasing effects.

This video is 394.9982451356 megabytes (395,637,980 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than one thousand nine hundred seventy five (!) minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.
Like the previous video, this one too is definitely ***NOT*** dial-up friendly!!!

Video on YourTube showing the Giant LED Table Lamp in operation.

This time I simply shot video of a white surface (a door in this case) with the lamp out of frame to again attempt to capture the color phasing.

That music you hear is zax from the TBS (The Brain Slayer) pee-cee computer demo, "Collapse" from 1992. This product is not sound-sensitive; the music may safely be ignored or even muted if it pisses you off.

O BOY!
A DOOR CHANGING COLORS!!
So thrilling!!
So heartstopping!!!
Actually, it kinda makes you want to "kik" "thuh" "spiget" "oph" "thuh" "wal" "uv" "uh" "bathetube" "ahnd" "woch" "thuh" "wattor" "schute" "acros" "thuh" "rume" doesn't it?

This video is 16.9476852435 megabytes (17,262,579 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than eighty four minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.

Video on YourTube showing the Giant LED Table Lamp in operation.

This time I simply shot the video outdoors in moderate outdoor light (mid-level clouds) to again attempt to capture the color phasing.
That black kitty that shows up fairly early in this vid. is Stormy.

The "legs" were deliberately left off the lamp so that I could place the lamp on the concrete porch and on a chair over a white towel.

This video is 598.3552256190 megabytes (598,703,226 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than two thousand nine hundred ninety one minutes (!!!) to load at 48.0Kbps.
This video is definitely ***NOT*** dial-up friendly!!!

TEST NOTES:
Test unit was purchased on the ThinkGeek website on 12-08-13 and was received at 6:35pm PST on 12-13-13.

UPDATE: 00-00-00

PROS:
Really does look like a gigantic LED -- even the flattened area on the flange is there!
Significantly brighter than I expected from a product using AAA cells
Batteries it uses are common and relatively inexpen$ive
Rubber (or rubberlike) body is soft rather than brittle or fragile

NEUTRAL:

CONS:
It really does deserve an AC adapter input
Metal legs can seem a bit fiddly at times

Unknown

Decorative table (mood) lamp

3W high-power RGB LED

Unknown (at least 9)

N/A

Slide on/mode change/off on product's underside

Rubber & plastic with metal legs

N/A

3x AAA cells

Unknown/unable to measure

Very light splatter-resistance only

¡¡¡PAPÁ NOEL CAGANDO POR UNA CHIMENEA, NO!!!

Two gooseneck (bendable) metal legs

117mm T (not incl. legs) x 85mm Dia. at widest point (flange)

277.80g (9.80oz.) incl. batteries

China

Unknown/not stated

Giant LED Table Lamp * www.thinkgeek.com...

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