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Somebody set up us the bomb.

Laser Pointer/Flashlight/Disco Light, retail $ (URL unknown)
Manufactured by (Unknown)
Last updated 11-26-11

The Laser Pointer/Flashlight/Disco Light is a rather unique product as flashlights go.

Not only does it have five LEDs (nothing unusual about that) and a red laser pointer (that isn't too queer either), it also has five colored LEDs inside its transparent, prismatic bezel that put on a little light show for you whenever you wish!

This little gizmo feeds from 3 AAA cells held in a "side-by-side" carriage inside the product's body to help keep the length down.
The AAA cells are included and installed, so all you need to do is push the button.

It comes in an all-plastic body, with a brushed chrome finish to it.


The unit comes pre-fed (batteries are already installed), so you need not go through any unwanted rigamarole before you can use it.

Press the black button on the barrel firmly until it clicks and then release it to turn the red diode laser pointer on.

Do the same thing to turn the laser off and turn the white LED flashlight on.

Do the same thing again to turn the flashlight off and activate the "disco lights", where five colored LEDs around the rim of the bezel flash & blink in several sequences.

Do the same thing yet again to turn the entire product off.

Just like it reads on the back of many shampoo (or "shampee") bottles, "lather, rinse, repeat".
In other words, pressing & releasing the button again restarts the cycle with the laser pointer.

To change the batteries in your laser pointer/LED flashlight/disco light, unscrew and remove the tailcap, go outside, and huck it into the nearest open-pit gallium or gadolinium mine and wait patiently for a piece of heavy equipment to run over & destroy it...O WAIT!!! YOU'LL NEED THAT!!! So just set it aside instead.

Tip the black plastic battery carriage out of the barrel and into your hand. If necessary, remove and dispose of or recycle the used cells if they are present in this carriage.

Insert three new AAA cells into the carriage, one in each compartment. Orient each cell so the flat-end (-) negative faces a spring for it in its compartment.

Once the carriage is full, insert it into the flashlight's barrel, aiming it so the button on one end goes in first. Screw the tailcap back on, and be done with it.
Aren't you glad you didn't chuck that tailcap into the open-pit mine now?

Unable to measure current usage due to how the product was constructed.

This product comes in a rather flimsy feeling plastic body, so I won't throw it against the wall, stomp on it, try to drown it in the toylet bowl or the cistern, run over it, swing it against the concrete floor of an outdoor patio, use a medium claw hammer in order to bash it open to check it for candiosity, fire it from the cannoņata, drop it down the top of Mt. Erupto (I guess I've been watching the TV program "Viva Piņata" too much again - candiosity is usually checked with a laser-type device on a platform with a large readout (located at Piņata Central), with a handheld wand that Langston Lickatoad uses, or with a pack-of-cards-sized device that Fergy Fudgehog uses; the cannoņata (also located at Piņata Central) is only used to shoot piņatas to piņata parties away from picturesque Piņata Island, and Mt. Erupto is an active volcano on Piņata Island {In the episode "Les Saves the Day...Again", Paulie Preztail says "Hey, ever wonder why this park's called 'Mount Erupto' anyway?", then Franklin Fizzlybear says "I think its an old native term. Means 'very safe.'"}), send it to the Daystrom Institute for additional analysis, or inflict upon it punishments that flashlights in sturdier plastic or metal bodies may have inflicted upon them.

This was also a gift from my sister (she picked it out, but my mother actually made the purchase), so I would not have beaten it regardless of what type of product it was. I know you like to see me try and break things (like Beavis & Butt-Head might have done when they found an overhead projector in the school parking lot - "Yeah yeah yeah yeah STOMP ON IT! Break it, break it, BREAK IT!!! huh huh huh I hate those things!"), but "ain't" "gonna" happen today, folks!

I did perform "The Suction Test" on it to check for watertightness, and it showed SIGNIFICANT leakage. If it fell in water and you suspect it got flooded, disassemble it as you would for a battery change, carefully unscrew the bezel (head) but leave it attached by its wires, dump out the water if necessary, and set the parts in a warm dry place for a couple of days or so (this recommended drying time is longer than usual because of the circuitry & laser diode in the bezel) just to be sure it's completely dry inside before you reassemble and use it again.

If it fell into seawater, got thrown into a glass of milk, if it fell in a root beer float, if somebody squirted a Massengill brand post-menstrual disposable douche or a Fleet brand disposable enema at it (and hit it with the douche or the enema), or if somebody or something peed on it, rinse all the parts out with fresh water before setting them out to dry. You don't want your Laser Pointer / Flashlight / Disco Light to smell like seaweed, sour milk, flowers, fresh butts, or rotten piss when you go to use it next. Besides, salt (from seawater, disposable douches, disposable enemas, or uranation), lactic acid (from moo juice), glycerol (from antifreeze), or sugar (from root beer & ice cream) can't be very good for the insides.

The LEDs in the flashlight portion aren't standard 5mm white LEDs in domed epoxy bodies, they're very wide angle LEDs - each set near the bottoms of little reflectors. So not only do you get the narrow flood like you'd see with regular 5mm LEDs, you also get a much wider, dimmer corona. This is direct emission from the LEDs themselves.

Beam photograph (flashlight) on the test target at 12".
Measures 91,700mcd on a Meterman LM631 light meter.

Beam photograph (laser) on the test target at 12".
Measures 3.417145mW on a laser power meter.

Beam photograph (laser) on a wall at ~10 feet.

Those rectangular graphic things in the upper right quadrant of this photograph are marquees from:

Sega ''Star Trek''
Atari ''Tempest''
Venture Line ''Looping''
Jaleco ''Exerion''

upright coin-op arcade video games from the 1980s.

And those colored graphics toward the left are my "Viva Piņata" posters.

Photograph of the "disco lights" - turned on of course.

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the white LEDs in this flashlight.

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the white LEDs in this flashlight; spectrometer's response narrowed to a band between 430nm and 480nm to pinpoint the LED's peak native emission wavelength, which is 458.96nm.

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the laser in this flashlight.

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the red "disco light" LEDs in this flashlight.

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the green "disco light" LEDs in this flashlight.

Spectrographic analysis
Spectrographic analysis of the blue "disco light" LEDs in this flashlight.

USB2000 spectrometer graciously donated by P.L.

ProMetric analysis
Beam cross-sectional analysis.
Image made using the ProMetric System by Radiant Imaging.

WMP movie (.avi extension) showing the "disco lights" in this product.
This clip is approximately 2.39 megabytes (2,462,848 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than ten minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.
I cannot provide it in other formats, so please do not ask.

A video clip on YourTube showing this product in normal operation.

This clip is approximately 11.38768673414 megabytes (11,523,848 bytes) in length; dial-up users please be aware.
It will take no less than fifty seven minutes to load at 48.0Kbps.

Unit was given to me by my sister on the evening of 09-07-08. It was picked out by her, but actually purchased by my mother specifically for inclusion on this website.
Because it was a gift, damaging or even potentially destructive testing will not be performed on it, and the "Gift - no abusive testing" icon will appear next to its listings on this website.

Product was made in China.
A product's country of origin really does matter to some people, which is why I published it on this web page.

UPDATE: 00-00-00

Unique, fun gizmo
Decent intensity for those white LEDs considering the wide viewing angle
Laser power is within parameters of product's labelling

Not very water-resistant and not submersible at all
All-plastic construction means it will not be as durable as a metal-bodied light

    MANUFACTURER: Unknown/not stated
    PRODUCT TYPE: Handheld laser pointer/flashlight/"disco light" product
    LAMP TYPE: LED & diode laser
    No. OF LAMPS: 11 (10 LEDs, 1 laser)
    BEAM TYPE: Narrow flood w/ dimmer corona & soft fall-off (LEDs), very narrow spot (laser)
    SWITCH TYPE: Pushbutton on/mode change/off on barrel
    CASE MATERIAL: Plastic
    BEZEL: Plastic; LEDs & laser protected by water-clear transparent plastic window
    BATTERY: 3x AAA cells
    CURRENT CONSUMPTION: Unknown/unable to measure
    WATER- AND PEE-RESISTANT: Very light splatter-resistance at maximum
    ACCESSORIES: 3x AAA cells, small lanyard
    WARRANTY: Unknown/not stated


    Star RatingStar Rating

Laser Pointer/Flashlight/Disco Light *

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