You've heard of toilet paper. But I bet you've never heard of a paper toilet!
The Outback Pack is sold as a portable camping commode. The cardboard biffy comes with its own seat & lid, several disposable poo bags, toilet tissue, and
a heavy duty zip lock bag to keep everything tidy until you need to use it. It unfolds (deploys) in a matter of seconds, so it's ready to "go" when you are.
The funniest part though, is that it actually works! It is designed to safely support a person of 275 pounds.
If you want to buy one of these cool paper toilets, go to the Outback Pack website, or write:
GT Products LLC
P.O. Box 11048
Fort Smith, AR 72917-11048
Ph: 501-452-1893
Fx: 501-782-2482
The Outback Pack portable toilet costs just $15 delivered.
Some of the instructions printed on the lid. The "caution" notices say do not leave the toilet near open flame, do not stand on the toilet, and do not lean back on the toilet while shitting.
This odd T-shirt showed up in the mail a week or so ago.
What's so funny about it isn't the diarrhea pouring out of that faucet, but the gross misspelling on the logo!
It says "Toliet To Tap", where the correct spelling would be "Toilet To Tap".
Personally, I think the misspelled version is far funnier, and I wouldn't change it for the world!! Do you want one? Then to go
http://www.cafepress.com/cp/store/store.aspx?storeid=scatcat
The "All your base" one is an internet joke, and is not really available.
The misspelled one on the left is the real McCoy. :)
Have you ever wanted to see the Honey Nut Cheerios bee drown in the toilet?
"Dammit, it won't go down!!"
This horribly mutilated toliet bowl was found in an alley just two blocks from my Seattle home.
Believe it or not, I went back for it. Someone pee'd in it, but didn't take a dump, so it can be disinfected.
Its destiny is uncertain, but it will likely become a planter. A very, very bizarre planter. :-O
Someone put a lot of time and effort into this, and it would be a shame to see it go to waste.
Update... can you guess what ever became of this toilet?
If you guess a planter, give yourself 4 fresh rolls of Charmin!
COMMON MISSPELLINGS OF THE WORD "TOILET"
On Yahoo!, by order of number of documents found containing the misspelling or the word used in some other manner...
- Toliet - 3,520 documents
- Tolet - 1,150 documents
- Terlet - 798 documents
- Tiolet - 729 documents
- Toilett - 664 documents
- Toillet - 410 documents
- Turlet - 236 documents
- Toylet - 193 documents
- Torler - 65 documents
- Toilit - 30 documents
- Toilot - 14 documents
- Toillett - 12 documents
- Tolliet - 10 documents
- Toilat - 8 documents
- Turolet - 7 documents
- Terolet - 5 documents
- Toillit - 4 documents
- Toillut - 4 documents
- Tiollet - 4 documents
- Toliett - 3 documents
- Toylett - 2 documents
- Terlett - 2 documents
- Turlett - 2 documents
- Toilut - 1 document
- Torolet - 1 document
- Towlet - 1 document
- Toilitt - 1 document
Sniglets concerning toilets. Some courtesy of http://www.ccs.neu.edu/home/maddog/stuff/sniglets.html
and others were self-invented just because I felt like it.
Buculets \ BUK'u'lets \ (n.)
The bumper guards on the underside of a toilet seat.
Charmadhesion \ sharm'ad'HEE'zhun \ (adv.)
The property of new toilet paper rolls where the "start" is glued to the roll or cannot be found;
frequently resulting in charmangulation (see below) of the roll by the frustrated TP user.
Charmangulation \ shar'mang'yoo'LAY'shun \ (v.)
The act of ripping and clawing at a new roll of toilet paper in a vain attempt to find the "start".
Usually results in numerous layers of toilet paper being ripped away and wasted before the roll
starts to unwind correctly and can be placed in the dispenser.
Flowfright \ FLO'frite \ (n.)
The desperate attempt by a homeowner to talk his or her overflowing toilet into backing down.
Merferator \ MUR'fur'ay'ter \ (n.)
The cardboard core in a toilet tissue roll.
Pottyfright \ POT'ee'frite \ (n.)
In a public restroom, the act of directing your urine onto the side of the bowl instead of
in the water because you're afraid someone else in the restroom will hear it.
Seatled \ SEET'uld \ (n.)
The act of being startled by the sound of the toilet seat hitting the bowl too hard.
The effect is exceptionally pronounced when it occurs at night.
Thermalophobia \ thur'muh'lo'FO'be'uh \ (n.)
The fear when showering that someone will sneak in, flush the toilet, and scald you to death.
Tile comet \ tyl KOM'it \ (n.)
Any streamer of toilet paper attached to your heel as you emerge from a public restroom.
Toilaflexion \ toy'lah'FLEK'shun \ (v.)
The unnatural twisting and bending motions made by people as they wipe while still seated
on a toilet. Toilaflexion can occasionally result in pulls or strains if performed while standing.
Toilaknobules \ toy'lah'NOB'yools \ (n.)
Those plastic knob-like things that cover the floor bolts on a toilet.
Also a good place to look for Uronium (see below).
Uricide \ YER'eh'side \ (n.)
The act of killing a fly or other insect buzzing around in a toilet or urinal by shooting at it with
your urine stream until you manage to hit it, knocking it into the fixture where it can be
disposed of by flushing.
Urinator \ YER'en'ay'ter \ (n.)
A urinal that splashes your own pee all over your shoes or pants when you use it.
Uronium \ yer'OH'nee'um \ (n.) (Chemical symbol: Un, atomic number 327)
An odoriferous brown substance that usually exists between the toilet seat hinges and the bowl.
Uronium may also appear around the bolts that hold the toilet to the floor. Most people refuse to
acknowledge its existence and simply ignore it; choosing instead to mask its unique odor with
Glade (tm) Plug-Ins (tm) or Wizard(tm) aerosol (tm).
Toilets located in the Juneau AK. Federal Building were designed a little too powerful.
If one lowers the end of the toilet paper into the water and flushes repeatedly, the entire roll
will be consumed within ten or fifteen seconds, right out of the dispenser.
The pressure assisted toilets are loud enough to be heard flushing from any ground-floor location.
New toilet paper dispensers, designed to stop this kind of waste, proved to be ineffective with these
ultra-powerful johns, once vandals removed the roll-lock pin, thus allowing the roll to free-wheel.
Do you like to ruin public toilets and waste all of their TP and leave a mess for the janitor?
Then this website is for you. BOGTRASHER'S INC. is a select
group of guys who love nothing more than to waste TP and try to flush toilet brushes down the toilets in public places.
Anonymity is essential here, and no names are revealed. Send them a photo of a toilet you've trashed, and try for a membership into
their secret BogTrasher's Club.
Try them at http://www.telinco.co.uk/bogtrashers/ and join in the fun!
Responding to vandalism and damage caused by wallets or other articles 'hidden' inside toilet tanks, some
business owners have resorted to fastening the toilet tank lids to the tanks with long lengths of hose clamp,
wrapped around and around the tank, and fastened with tamper resistant bolts.
This is creating problems of its own, when the toilet really does require
immediate service to prevent an overflow. Plumbers report that they are having difficulties removing these
homemade locking devices from the toilet tank.
One company wants your toilet to be a work of art, rather than an icky, stinky poo-poo receptacle.
'Painted Potties' is a set of decals that you're supposed to place in your toilet bowl.
They come in all kinds of different designs, and are supposed to last about six months inside the toilet bowl.
They can also be used in bathtubs, sinks, mirrors, toilet brush holders, toothbrush holders, and other bathroom
accessories; they are said to last indefinately on these.
Contact them at http://www.paintedpotties.com.
This company says that squatting is better than sitting, and they have apparently gathered the proof.
Behold...
This device stands over your toilet bowl like a sentinal in the night, just waiting for you to climb aboard and take a big fat dump.
Apparently, shitting this way is supposed to be better for your GI tract and the abdominal muscles that make it work.
See the Nature's Platform for yourself. Buy one. Turn your old toilet into a planter and play horseshoes with the seat.
Another company wants you to put a trailer hitch on your vehicle and take your toilet wherever you go!
The 'Uncle Booger' company is marketing a device called 'The Bumper Dumper', which is a toilet seat mounted on
a special frame that attaches to your trailer hitch. It comes with a toilet seat, frame, and five disposable poop bags.
For an extra $5, you can get the Bumper Dumper Toilet Paper Holder. The Bumper Dumper's toilet seat is replaceable
with any standard toilet seat, so you can put an oak seat or a padded seat on the thing if that's what you like.
Contact them at http://www.bumperdumper.com.
This is the Bizarro Award that they won from this site. Will they put it up or throw it away?
(Finally, as of June 11, they decided to KEEP this priceless treasure!)
Metal urinals installed in some high-vandalism locations are causing problems in some localities by causing unwanted
interference and ghost images on nearby television sets, and are causing signal dropouts when users of cellular
telephones get too close to them. Removing them and installing the more common porcelain urinals fixed this problem,
but vandals begun destroying them again and costing the city thousands of dollars every year.
TOILETS ON THE WARPATH
Cartoon found in a local underground newspaper called "The Stranger". (Now THAT'S what I call having a BOWL of cereal!
Published weekly, The Stranger is filled with all kinds of wierd revelations
and even wierder cartoons you probably won't find anywhere else. Available
in the Seattle area for free (take only ONE copy or else they might cut off
your hands and spank you with them), this paper is every strange person's cup of tea.
Advertisement for Vanish 'Hang-Ins' Toylet Bowl Cleaner with Bleach'
This is a CollectraMatic chicken fryer, used in Kentucky Fried Chicken restaraunts to make the Original Recipe.
Is it just me, or does this thing really resemble a high-tech TOILET of some sort?
Why IS it that gas stations advertising 'CLEAN RESTROOMS' present you with THIS?
This shining example is complete with feces smeared all over the walls and on the toilet bowl, and has the
offical MAD® cracked "Instant Agony"® Toilet Seat®.
When Good Bombers Go Bad!
This destroyed toilet bowl was part of a National Lampoon magazine campaign from the 70s. One can only wonder though,
how many toilets they had to blow up before they got the "look" they wanted for this campaign ad.
Go here to see the wildest concoction of fictional band names on the web!
And witness Ten Lavatorial Deaths on Nigel's Homepage
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